Gooner

Someone who participates in the act of gooning (masturbating) and is disturbingly proud of it.

Person 1: Bruh I came all day to those pics
Person 2: Wtf is wrong with you, gooner

by Ihavenolife_68421 May 11, 2024

The Last Gooner

Infamous Nautica Malone, also known as “The Gooner”, “Deathstroke”, etc. He is seen riding in his black dodge challenger also known as the “The Goonrider” or the “The flying Goonman”.

“Yo you see that car? It reminded me of The Last Gooner”.

by The Jelqmaxxer March 10, 2025

D1 Gooner

Someone who is serverly addicted to porn, sexual pleasure, or "gooning"

My son is a D1 gooner

I am a D1 gooner

by The One Who Goons November 28, 2024

Post-Goonerism

When you watch porn and jack off so often that you stop feeling anything from it, so you end up retreating back into the real world.

Usually can be defined when someone finds watching porn or jacking off boring and slowly decides to stop jacking off entirely.

Chad: yo bro why is James taking walks outside in the park all of a sudden? he used to stay inside all the time.
Joe: James is having post-goonerism, the dude decided to touch grass now

by auxre November 15, 2025

Gooner

Someone who constantly jerks their shit

My mate Rylan Berry is a HUGE gooner (fake name)

by TheSandManTwentyTen March 28, 2025

Gooner

Me.
You.
Us.

We are gooners.

You: I just gooned to timeskip iwaizumi from haikyuu last night!
Me: SAME!1!1 gooner bros!

by Saccharineeva September 13, 2025

Goonerism

A soul-crushing, dignity-vaporizing descent into hentai-fueled oblivion, where every shred of self-respect, ambition, and human potential is violently sacrificed at the altar of endless, wrist-snapping depravity. A gooner, once a functioning person, devolves into a dopamine-addicted troglodyte, eyes sunken, skin pale, body frail—marinating in the warm glow of their screen as they edge closer and closer to complete neurological collapse. Conversations? Forgotten. Dreams? Replaced with AI-generated waifus who wouldn't acknowledge their existence even if coded to. Relationships? Nonexistent—unless you count the parasocial bonds they've formed with fictional characters and cam models who milk them like brain-dead cattle. The peak of their life is a pixelated orgasm, followed by an existential horror so deep it could make Lovecraft weep. Goonerism isn’t just a habit—it’s a one-way ticket to being a functionally extinct human being.

"Once a promising young man with dreams and ambition, Jake succumbed to full-blown goonerism, wasting away in the dim glow of his monitor, his only accomplishments being a collection of cursed bookmarks, a wrist that could arm-wrestle God, and a level of self-loathing so deep it could be measured in fathoms."

by N0rs3GOd March 14, 2025