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Cracker Barrel Baptism

First coined by comedic legend Theo Von, a Cracker Barrel Baptism refers to one person throwing up on another (This Past Weekend, Ep. #478)
“Ole Joe had one too many and gave Tami a Cracker Barrel Baptism while they was dancin”
by StrakeBleeter January 19, 2024
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Baptism by smoke

A person being introduced to smoking marijuana for the first time.
Person 1: "You're happier than usual. Almost like a religious person."
Person 2: "I had a baptism by smoke recently."
Person 1: "What does that mean?"
Person 2: "It means 'A person being introduced to smoking marijuana for the first time.'"
Person 1: "Oh, so that means you smoked for the first time?"
Person 2: "Yes."
Person 1: "Who baptized you?"
Person 2: "Janey did."
by JanesBestFriend May 2, 2023
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Chicago Baptism

To accidentally sit in a seat, wet with SOMETHING, on the CTA. Do it once, and you’ll never do it again.
There was one seat open on the red line, and before anyone could warn me, I got my Chicago Baptism.
by Chicago Zym June 26, 2024
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Brown Butter Baptism

When due either to sheer size or the unfortunate effects of age related gravitational force, a man's privates take a "dip in the pool" during the course of a seated session on the toilet. The Brown Butter Baptism can occur during the act of dropping the steamer, or as a result of the swirling effects of a courtesy flush. The BBB is particularly undesirable when loose bowels are a factor, such as in colonoscopy prep.
Wow, that brown butter baptism really burns. I should never have eaten that burrito.

Somebody needs to invent a crapper nut sling so I don't take a brown butter baptism every time I go #2!
by 13.9 March 21, 2022
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Cracker Barrel Baptism

An oral foreplay move where one deliciously delivers a flow of vomit over a mildly erect penis to cleanse it of it’s previous poundings.

Tip: You turn it into an exorcism by consuming liberal amounts of Nashville Hot Chicken prior to preforming the move.
Q: Hunny you’ve been hound pounding the dog again so you know where gonna have to do a cleansing.

A: Oh no. My balls. They are filled with sin.

Q: Alright. It’s time for your Cracker Barrel Baptism.
by EmœÆntħøny February 20, 2024
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North Korean Baptism

by G Fry June 22, 2024
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Dirty baptism

When you ejaculate on her fore-head in a praying position
“Gave her the ol’ dirty baptism last night
by pizza dummy April 30, 2024
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