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epic wank

When you've been spanking the monkey for an hour or more, doing your hand mantra and exceptional kamasutra to almost, almost, almost.. ..and then finally release a load so great it's almost comparable to sex - this is what we call an epic wank.
-I just had the most epic wank last night, to some epic xxx.

-The moment of which my tremendous load shot through the canal of my penis and shot out after the two hours of holding it in can only be described as absolute bliss, nothing like taking a piss.

-*shooting out the biggest load*. Wow. What an epic wank.
by utterduck 9k May 11, 2010
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epic gay epic games gamer moment

dude bro 1: i had an gay sex while playing fortnite yesterday
dude bro 2: thats an epic gay epic games gamer moment
by heccs May 14, 2019
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Epic gamer

A gamer that has played, fortkike,apex leg, mencraft, and LEGO star wars
“Me and Joe are epic gamers bitch back away mortal scum I hold the world record time killing the ender dragon”
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Epicduel

Terrible game by Artix Entertainment barely even has 10 players they are trying to "revive" it but it's no use bc that game is garbage
P1: Epicduel is so fun
P2: was*
P1: no its fun still
P2: it was*
(And that's pretty much a daily conversation in epicduel)
by 131313131313131313131313 February 19, 2022
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Epic Batter

An explanation whereby the enjoyability and longevity of an event/situation is increased exponentially by the inclusion of an unforeseen factor or person.
Dude - I was getting laid, but it was pretty average. But then her mom turned up and wanted in, then it was epic batter
by rockoroll June 12, 2011
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epic mickey

an unpleasant sex move in which the girl ends up making a painful squealing sound similar to mickey mouse's classic "a ha" sound
I knew my girlfriend had been cheating on me, so last night I gave her the epic mickey and at that moment she knew that I knew
by piffman2 October 20, 2009
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Epic Beard Man

Aka Thomas Bruso, a true legend.

EBM (a 67 year old) was on an AC transit bus talking to his friend, when an ignorant thug (who turns out to be murderer) picks a verbal fight with him. EBM moves to the front to stop himself handing out a beating, but thug leaves him no choice by lashing out. EBM beat his ass down, busting his nose in the process.

The video of the incident was posted up on Youtube, and became a fast-growing internet hit shortly afterwards- prompting many news articles.

Random facts about EBM:

-Is a war veteran (Vietnam)
-Wore a t-shirt with 'I am a motherfucker' emblazoned on the back
-Now has a pair of Stacy Adams shoes
Epic Beard Man: "Don't fuck with senior citizens, they're gonna surprise you once in a while"
by umar_i February 20, 2010
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