ear condom

protection from speech that would otherwise offend you

Person 1: Didn't the teacher's stereotypical remarks offend you today?
Person 2: No, I always wear an ear condom in that class.

by dersponge55 May 15, 2011

e-condom

A term used for all your internet security. Firewalls, Anti Virus, Anti Spam etc. All computers should have an E-condom.

Hey man, this Nortan Internet Security 2005 gives my computer a tough E-condom!

Don't let your computer get ITD's, wrap it up with an E-condom!

by Mohammed March 31, 2005

couch condom

Anything such as a sheet, blanket, sleeping bag, trash bag, etc., which might prevent one from contact with a soiled couch, especially on upholstery soiled with sweat, sex juices or butt smudges. Much in the same way a pillow case or a t-shirt can protect one from a filthy pillow.

"Both Cyka's aunt and Booby have had real nasty sex right there. You'll probably want to throw down a couch condom before you rest your dizzy head there."

by Etch September 8, 2006

condom break

When your condom breaks during sex...duh!

Person 1: Did you hear? During sex, John and Michelle's condom broke. (condom break)
Person 2: Damn, they're fked now.

by SoFetchh May 26, 2008

Condom Nut-Hug

The act of ignorantly putting on a condom so that it covers both the shaft and the testicles.

Person 1: I'm so big, even Magnum XLs feel tight. They're roomy around the shaft, but they just don't fit around my balls.
Person 2: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Person 1: What?
Person 2: You're giving yourself a fucking condom nut-hug, you jackass.

by The Bod January 18, 2009

pro-condom slogans

Catchy advertising slogans to use to promote the sale of condoms.

You can't go wrong if you shield your dong!

Before you deck her, cover your pecker!

While she gets in heat, package your meat!

Before undressing Venus, dress up your...

...you know what.

*rimshot*

by Mark H June 17, 2004

Condom Shame

Ashamed of buying condoms directly, a person (usually female) persuades his or her lover to buy condoms while they hide behind a magazine 20-feet away.

A man bumps into his friend in line at the checkout:

"Hey dude! It's been awhile! Where's your wife?"
"Oh, she's just over there looking at magazines, she has condom shame."

by gwaijai85 October 23, 2009