masturbate

What people do when they are horny

You probably are horny right now, so here goes nothing

*He dimmed his lights, his heart beating in anticipation. His pants felt too tight, and he sat down on his chair, opening his laptop. He clicked on porn hub, and luckily he was home alone so he played the dirty moans at full volume. He put his palm on his pants, feeling his hardening cock. He pressed against it, shuddering in pleasure. The video intensified, making him even more desperate, so he quickly unbuttons his pants and lets his dick breathe. It’s slick with precum, and he keeps his eyes glued to the hot video as his fist closes over his thick member. He lets out a shudder, then pumps his fist, slowly at first. He then starts going faster, thrusting his hips into his hand, jerking himself off. He feels his cock get heavy, ready to cum. And he stops. He knows it’ll all pay off when he has an even better orgasm after edging. He pants, his high going down. He slowly rubs the tip of his cock with his forefinger and thumb, whimpering. Then he enclosed it in his fist again, slowly getting faster and faster as his moans mingled in with the videos. He felt his cock fill up again and his balls tighten, and with one last thrust, he orgasmed. Hot streams of cum shot out from his cock, splattering on his stomach. He shot far, and kept rubbing his cock as he went down from his high.*
I was horny so I masturbated.
by superhornydefinitions March 18, 2024
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masturbate

Someone:"Go f-ck yourself"
Masturbator:"I think you mane masturbate"
by that one there December 16, 2022
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Masturbating Mike Tyson

When a man’s penis is so long he has to assume the classic Mike Tyson peek-a-boo boxing stance — elbows tucked, fists up by his face — to reach it during masturbation. Typically involves a downward squat and intense focus, resembling a fighter preparing for battle… but for very different reasons.
“Bro, I caught Kyle in the bathroom doing the Masturbating Mike Tyson. Dude looked like he was about to throw hands with his own junk.”
by A Dude Booty Meat June 02, 2025
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Religious Masturbation

Religious Masturbation.

Speaking about the supposed superiority of your religion, for the sole pleasure of listening to yourself and showing off to other members of that religion.

A religious leader preaching to the saved

Etymology: the religious counterpart to masturbation; i.e. a process that is very pleasurable but doesn’t accomplish anything in the end.
The preacher gave a nice example of religious masturbation; a preaching about conversion to the saved
by Lyreluthier October 15, 2019
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Intellectual Masturbation

i.e. this is when one derives sexual pleasure contemplating an object or subject, and/or overthinking something outwith their expertise resulting in grandiosity from confirmation bias
She spent her days in intellectual masturbation over the one that got away...
by BitchfinderGeneral March 05, 2024
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Oral masturbation

Oral masturbation is when I suck my own dick until I cum in my mouth
Once I found out I could suck my own dick I began to oral masturbate daily still do oral masturbation is using one's mouth to perform oral sex on themselves self-sucking auto fellatio oral masturbation
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When someone inserts a pipette into the penis hole, and starts the release water in the penis. And starts jerking it. When they finish the water splashes out inside the cum and you start eating it for good luck. People may also use jumpercables to stimulate pleasure while doing Jamaican masturbation technique number 9
Yo Vincent stop doing Jamaican masturbation technique number 9 at my house
by Bleacher brah January 13, 2025
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