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Captain Granite

Captain Granite, urban God, is a guy who's head is as hard as it sounds. All to protect his tiny little brain for any more brain damage.

He rather goes through a wall instead of around it. Doesn't take no for an answer.

Better not to mess around with because, he is like a ton of bricks falling from the heavens.

Where he thinks that he belongs. Next to Zeus.
I met Captain Granite once, and I am still waiting for this nightmare to pass. It's like living in a tomb.
by Repesteeltje May 11, 2011
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captain splash

A sad person, very similiar to a 'saddo'.
John is a captain splash, he keeps having a go at jason for no reason.
by Billy Idol July 7, 2006
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Captain Camambro

1) One who drinks copious amounts of alcohol, usually rum.
2) A fictional pirate who stabs his enemies in the throat, usually due to their failure to drink copius amounts of rum.
3) See also Camambro
1) I am a regular CAPTAIN CAMAMBRO! Why, just last night I drank 2 litres of Appleton Rum!
2) If you don't drink that mickey, CAPTAIN CAMAMBRO will slit your throat!
by Capatain Camambro September 8, 2006
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Captain Dangler

A slang word often used to reference to someone containing an abnormal or misshapen penis.
by chapsta July 6, 2007
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captain shiny

Person with a bald head that you can normally see yourself in. its kind of like having a mirror but its living.
TY: AHOY CAPTAIN SHINY!!!
Gary the bus driver: DAMN IT DONT CALL ME THAT.
TY: Anything you say shiny top.
(Ty walks away)
Gary: asshole.
by skaterboy December 30, 2007
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captain schultz

Borrowing from other Captain ranked negatives(see Captain Obvious and Captain Hindsight) a Captain Schultz is the douche canoe at the worst end of the dish it/take it spectrum. Usually running a joke/prank farther in the ground than acceptable to even the least socially adept individuals (Ex. Carrot Top, Jeff Foxworthy, or an adult with downs that has been telling the same knock knock joke for 27 years) upon having the same joke/prank pulled on him, stomps around throwing a bitch fit big enough to sap the fun out of any environment.

Usually when someone overreacts to something, the natural reaction is to do it more, not with this person, once you have viewed the sad state of affairs in the wake of their unrelenting diatribe, you call it a loss agree to never walk that forsaken path again.
Carl: You know how Randy thinks its still funny to hide people’s shoes?

Don: You didn’t…

Carl: I did, but I just moved them over a foot and put a towel over them.

Don: That explains it. You need to put the shoes back. He promoted himself to Captain Schultz over it. He smashed open the coffee maker looking for them.

Carl: If he just looks right next to where he put them he will…

Don: Not worth it, just return them, we’ll have someone else tell him they are back. Lets never speak of this again.
by Mxyzsptlk June 29, 2014
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captain semen

James.

James is a captain.. and a seaman... therefore he is captain semen.
captain semen is the best captain ever!
by 007tellie007 March 18, 2016
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