Covided

When a girl is blowing you and you pull out and bust in her nose and punch her in both eyes

Did you see Martha I think she is sick. Nah she got covided last night

by Hennebadger November 12, 2020

Covid-🗽

When dictators or rogue leaders use the pandemic crisis to crack down on political opponents, such as arresting or jailing them on the excuse that they hold public meetings that do not make mask-wearing mandatory or fail to practice social distancing.

Public protests are banned in most dictatorial nations due to alleged Covid-🗽 violations.

by Covido November 14, 2020

Covid Charlie

A person who lacks any awareness of germs whatsoever. They go to work sick, wipe their nose on the back of their hand, blow their nose on their clothing, just run there hands under cool water (instead of using soap) after using the toilet, and have never washed their Covid mask.

Look at that Covid Charlie grabs his face mask, from under his pile of McDonald’s bags on the floor of his car, to go into the grocery store.

Covid Charlie showed up to work today sick. Says it’s just allergies.

by YubNub83 November 14, 2020

Covid-💉

When some countries with the capability of developing a corona vaccine are getting their hackers to spy on their competitors’ research development of the virus so that they could become the first nation to launch it.

The Covid-💉 perpetrators are China, Russia, North Korea, and Iran, with the US and a few others pretending not to be involved in the spying business.

by Covido November 14, 2020

Covid-🧟 ♂️

The hypothesis that zombies may be carriers of the coronavirus, which prompted the authorities to lock all cemetery gates or to have security guards patrolling the area at the request of superstitious folks to prevent these walking dead from infecting the general population.

Because the infection and mortality rates of residents living near cemeteries are above those from other neighborhoods, authorities don’t want to take any chances what if those infections and deaths were really due to Covid-🧟 ♂️.

by Covido November 16, 2020

The Covid Test

Where by some drops an absolute stinker and you can either smell it or you can’t, meaning if you can smell it, you don’t have COVID.

“I’ve just farted and it’s awful, if you have 2 sniff of that, you’re a greedy bastard” “I can’t smell anything” you need to go for the Covid test then!

by dylanscott93 November 17, 2020

Covid-🎰

When the odds of a young healthy person—who always wears a face mask and practices social distancing—dying from the coronavirus in a country with low infection and mortality rates are like the chances of someone hitting the jackpot twice at the casino.

Which event is less likely to happen: catching Donald J. Trump telling the truth, or being struck by Covid-🎰?

by Covido November 17, 2020