Union Tools Ass Hwoopin' Stick

only the most ballinest weapon on earth. nobody messes with the union tools ass hwoopin' stick. youll die just from breathing in the air let out by the stick. thats right it breaths.

a nigger walked up to the tank and jay busted out his union tools ass hwoopin' stick and killed him.

by tee oh see-toc-tyler o' conner October 6, 2003

Union Tools Ass Hwoopin' Stick

A heavy stick with the Union Tools logo on it, used for ass hwoopin'. These sticks are commonly found in the back of Volvo Wagons AKA Tanks.

Yo, nucker you best step back fo' I bust out the Union Tools Ass Hwoopin' Stick and beat you down...What What!?!

by Tyler O'Conner What? October 5, 2003

Wacking Off In My Tool Shed

from the latin whackingus ofingus innus myus toolus shedus meaning to get freaky in a secretive location

I love wacking off in my tool shed with my boyfriend who is extraordinarily endowned

by EAGLES TO THE SUPERBOWL January 18, 2005

Tool box with matching power douche accessories

A tool box with matching power douche accessories is the most egregious form of tool. If a tool is a common douche-bag, and a tool box is where tons of tools go, then a tool box with matching power douche accessories is the apex predator of douches.

This person would be the megalodon of douche, the Elvis of douchebaggery, or the Mount Everest of douche. In the SCUBA diving world this person would be the Andrea Doria of douche. In rock climbing, this person would be the 5.15a of douche. In cycling, this person would be the Tour De Douche, except that he would have both testicles. In Kalifornia, this person would be the Nancy Pelosi of douche. In the hand gun world, this person would be the Desert Eagle of douche...a douche that is completely unlike other douches to an almost comical, unnecessary degree.

HISTORY OF THE PHRASE:

Cliffy, a Sergeant in my unit in 3rd Infantry Division, referred to our commander (he who shall not be named) as a tool box with matching power douche accessories one time. We all instantly recognized the gravity of the phrase. Like the Tarrasque in Dungeons and Dragons, there can typically only be one tool box with matching power douche accessories in the world at any given point. According to legend, the tool box with matching power douche accessories may take on an apprentice tool box, and upon his death the apprentice will then gain the douche prowess of the then deceased tool box with matching power douche accessories.

"Man, our boss is the worse example of douchebaggery that I have ever witnessed in all my years in the military. He is a tool box with matching power douche accessories."

-Cliffy

by CPT Ron April 30, 2013

annoying tool face loser dump in a bag

A poor insult made on-spot and in-the-moment.

-You're a jerk!
-Oh yeah? Well you are an annoying tool face loser dump in a bag
-Wow, what a douche canoe...

by OhYesIDidYouBetterBelieveItD00 May 10, 2011

the biggest tool bag of a whore youll ever meet

A guy who gets around, has sex with alot of girls at the same time.

"I cant believe Mike Heiser is hooking up with all those girls hes the biggest tool bag of a whore youll ever meet."

by Chang Winning March 30, 2009

Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead.

The first verse of the song "Smash Mouth" by "All Star"

"Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me i aint the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape on an l on her forehead."
Bob: "WHAT IS THIS?"
Sharyl: "GOD'S SINGING VOICE"
Bob: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" *eyes melt out of head*

by Frauggu March 2, 2017