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Jesus fucked a monkey!

Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.
by TauntonJah November 5, 2019
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Two Squirrels and a Monkey

when you have two chicks sucking each one of your nuts and your howling like a monkey.
The RocKK "Yeah dude, he got them to do the "Two Squirrels and a Monkey" on him last night"

B-Dog: "Ahh LUCKY! So that explains why I heard Chuckles yelling last night..."
by Bdpballaaaa February 19, 2012
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Monkey Rape

When a monkey comes up and rapes any random person
by Anonymous October 31, 2003
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Purple Monkey Finger

Moonshine from Dargaville. Dargaville where most of New zealands Kumara or sweet potatoes are grown. The locals make the best moonshine out of these purple turd looking things.
Purple Monkey Finger will kick your ass, a lot.
No officer i only had one Purple Monkey Finger, what do you mean i cant drive.
by Day Tripper. November 14, 2010
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Gooch Monkey

1. (Noun) An individual with a fetish for gooches

2. (Noun) An individual who has had someone's hairy gooch rubbed all over their face, creating a hairy monkey-like appearance
1. "Did you see that guy staring at my Gooch?!?!"
"Yeah! He must have been a Gooch Monkey!!!"

2."That cheap hooker was a Gooch Monkey after I was through with her."
by Gangstablu January 5, 2011
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drunken monkey sex

Drunken monkey sex is when you pleasure your partner so incredibly well that when done he/she walks as if they were indeed a drunk monkey.
Wow, Chad fucked me so good last night that I felt like i had drunken monkey sex!
by istitch October 28, 2017
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