Taint Time

(1)An oddly vague, completely spontaneous response occurring when an employee becomes overwhelmed by their fucktarded boss's stupidity.

(2) A last second warning that you're about to tea-bagged the forehead.

-possibly accompanied by super lame trumpet sound(s)
Boss: "Any volunteers to work 12

hours today ?"
Typical Employee: "Any volunteers to suck my dick today?"
Overwhelmed Employee: It's Taint Time, MUTHA FUCKA!!!"

Sees coworker about to check their watch: "Don't bother dumbass!!you already know what time it is!" "It's Taint:pm; Taint:15, Taint:fourty-five etc etc
by MarnieLee December 12, 2023
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Tainted Mushroom

The act of jerking off with your hand and dick inside her pussy at the same time
I tried banging a hooker last night but had to pull a Tainted Mushroom because she was so whalered out
by Beav Handler May 27, 2018
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Tainted mushroom

The act of master bating inside a vagina with your cock and hand inside.
That bitch was so blown out I had to pull a tainted mushroom
by Beav Handler June 02, 2018
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Taint Diamond

A lab-grown diamond using carbonized public hair rather than cremains or scalp hair as the base carbon for the stone.
Bill wanted to ensure that any diamond he gave his wife was not a Blood Diamond, so he saved her public trimmings and had a lab-grown Taint Diamond made for her.
by portlandyakuza May 19, 2024
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rev my taint

When someone says rev my taint what they mean by that is they would you to use a vibrator on ones taint
Bobby: “ hey Dave wanna rev my taint”
Dave: “ no Bobby my vibrator needs batteries
by Da real taint rev June 01, 2020
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spray taint

When take a shit so hard the water sprays your taint
Dude my shit was so big I gotta a spray taint!
by Bjs in a box April 12, 2018
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Taint tucker

A procedure to save yourself from a cougar attack...while cougar attacks you do a reach around and insert your pincher fingers into the cougars butthole and taint tuck that motherfucker.
When that cougar attacked me i reached around and gave him a taint tucker and he released his jaws.
by January 27, 2025
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