Santa Clause

A stalker of small children.
A pervert of the kids.
A slave Driver of the elves.
A thief of the cookies.
A legal immigrant to the world.
A rebel without a cause.
Have you ever wonder what happens to children that wake up to find him?
He rapes them then bashes there heads again the chimney.
He watches you, Everywhere.
Him and God are bother helpless stalkers.
What do we do to this flying, fat, red blob of jolly madness?
I say we touch his jolly ass.
He's obviously a terrorist.
He isolates his workers so no one from our outside world could know,
That Santa has a thing for the butt.
Unscramble Santa.
And you get Satan.
Santa is the Devil.
Santa toke over Jesus Christs Birthday.
It's cause Santa is Satan.
He even wears Satan's theme color.
Red.
Also the color of Blood.
Scared Yet?
You should Be.

Santa Clause:: Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!
Kid:: I want a hot wheels toy set!
Santa:: I want to show you the toys in my master bedroom that has padlocks on the doors
Kid:: Yaaay!

by Hawkington =]] February 2, 2008

Close friends

Close friends are friends who aren’t dating but the send nudes “talk” and possibly do stuff together all while maintaining a normal friendship to other people but it’s their secret.

We don’t have to get together but we can be “close friends”

by Bandst November 24, 2019

close enough for government work

A phrase used to describe the quality of work difference of that of private enterprise and the government.

BILL: I think we should start over, we did not do such a good job. Someone may get hurt.

WALTER: Don't worry, its close enough for government work.

by word genie October 2, 2005

Closet Mexicans

Is a person of Mexican descent who hides or rejects his/her Mexican heritage.

An example of Closet Mexicans;

Sarah: "Hey Pancho, Are you Mexican?"
Pancho: "I'M NOT MEXICAN! Only my parents and grandparents are Mexican."
Sarah: "Oh, so you have Mexican background."
Pancho: "DUDE, I'M NOT MEXICAN! My ancestors are SPANIARDS!"
Sarah: "UH? WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU?"
Pancho: "I'm American of Spaniard descent."
Sarah: "Yeah Right...Talk to you later."

by numberofnames August 15, 2011

natural causes

Bullshit explanation of death given for very old people.

Son: What did gramps die of?

Dad: He died of natural causes.

Son: Yeah, right.

by dogbreath34 March 4, 2015

Closer

Usually a Baseball team's best relief pitcher. He comes in for the last inning to "shut the door" on the other team and preserve a tight game when his team is on top. As opposed to breaking balls and offspeed junk, he usually comes in and throws his outstanding fastball and, typically, slider.

The 8th inning is the real last chance for our sox to fight back. Mariano Rivera (most acclaimed closer ever) is warming up in the bullpen.

by Amaury Warfield October 1, 2005

closed-minded

The opposite of open-minded (DUH-uh!).

Many people are under the mistaken impression that the first person who says "You're just being closed-minded" in a debate is automatically the winner; frequently, the first person who says this has simply run out of facts.

Contrary to popular belief, it's also not always bad to be closed-minded, especially towards ideas which are easily demonstrated to be false or foolish.

I'm very open-minded about space exploration, but I'm very closed-minded about doing a space walk without a spacesuit.

by Gahmuret July 5, 2006