the closet is fucking glass

to tell someone who is denying being queer that their queerness is too obvious to ignore

lily: bro, just say that you're gay. it's not that hard!
george: i'm not, though??? i'm straight..
cameron (walking by and talking to george): hi, sweetheart!
george (turns around): oh. hi, darling :)
*cameron walks away*
lily: .....
george: what?!?!
lily: my dude, my bro, my bROther in Christ. the closet is fucking glass. how are you THIS dense???

by iamlexiv December 6, 2023

Closet Shopping

When you look through your belongings for items you don’t use to regift for a sibling, family member or close friends birthday. Basically for people who wouldn’t care it was used.

I forgot to buy my sister a gift so I went closet shopping for stuff she might want.

by BallroomDancer101 March 16, 2019

cranking your closet

When a closeted person masturbates to LGBT pornography.

Quit cranking your closet and come out already

by itchygabe December 10, 2025

Ham closet

The snatch .

Ohh baby, I love your ham closet ..

by Ham closet October 7, 2021

Closet Basic

1. People who pretend they are arty and authentic but are actually basic. 2. People who have no individual sense of style, but merely copy from more artistic people , I.e. authentic artists.

“Wow, look at those new Doc Martens she has”
“Na, she is closet basic. She works in marketing and I saw her at brunch last weekend.”

by Brooklyn Paulie December 13, 2023

closet multitasking

Closet multitasking is when you show up for remote meetings pretending to be in attendance but really working on something else.

Bob: Did you hear in the staff meeting that no one can take vacation in February?
Jane: No. Did Fred say that?
Bob: Absolutely. What were you closet multitasking?

The Boss: Jim, How are sales doing?
Me: crickets - no reply
The Boss: WTF, Jim? You closet multitasking?

by jfburke619 January 26, 2021

closet snatcher

any female who deliberately goes on the pull to entice guys to turn back straight

I love this new gay bar there are so many fit guys round here. Oh no look out there is a hot girl over there. She must be one of those "closet snatchers"!

by Madmordigon May 21, 2010