Drunk Rules

An unspoken, unilateral agreement exonerating an individual or group of any consequence of any action performed while blind shit-faced drunk, or merely tipsy. Either way dude. Go nuts.

Judge: You stand accused of willful destruction of private property, public indecency, reckless endangerment, and assault for committing the act of defecating in, on, and around the gas tank of one Principal Gumblefudger, fully naked and covered in raspberry vinaigrette dressing and yelling "Fuck the British! Long live the Confederacy!", as the car was in motion and being driven by the principal's daughter, all the while in full view of the school's occupants as they assembled in the parking lot for the annual Casimir Pulaski day parade! Jesus Brother-Sucking Christ, do you have anything to say for yourself? How could you possibly plead to fully acknowledge the extent of your public malice?
Defendant: Sorry, I guess. Drunk rules.
Judge: Oh, my bad. Sorry dude, I didn't realize. Well shit. You wanna get a drink or something?
Defendant: Got any raspberry vinaigrette dressing?
Judge: Hells ya.
Defendant: Hells ya.

by oogaboogatrumpa69.5 May 3, 2018

rule 2.71

If the situation is bad, it could be exponentially worse.

- Dude I slept with my cousin
- Don't worry about it, rule 2.71

by blue hawwk July 20, 2021

Christmas Rules

The Christmas Rules sound like they would be a seasonal thing, but no, don't be fooled. The Christmas Rules are to be followed throughout the entire year if one would like to reach peak wisdom and enlightenment. Follow the Christmas Rules, and you will live a fulfilling life full of divine knowledge. The rules are as follows (and none can be taken lightly):

1. Celebrate.

2. Don't send soapy tiddy pics.

3. Don't be a simp. (fictional characters and celebrities such as Alex Turner are an exception)

4. FOLLOW THE GAMING FUNGUS. (the most important rule, if you follow the others rules and not this one, it doesn't count)

5. Become sped. (another form of saying speed, basically do everything as speedily as possible)

Person 1: "5 is my lucky number, that's why it's in my username."
Person 2: "Why 5?"

Person 1: "Well, I've followed all five of the Christmas rules for five years now and as a reward, and no, this is not a coincidence, I've found five dollars underneath my pillow every single morning. It just goes to show how following the Christmas Rules does nothing but make your life more divine. Join me, my bruddha, in my journey of following the Christmas Rules.

by fungusfollower69 June 21, 2021

backpack rule

It's getting harder and harder these days to determine whether or not a girl is old enough to be checking out. Girls from ages 15-21 can all look the same these days. If a girl is wearing a backpack(like a hello kitty one), chances are she's too young and you should look away before being called out for being a creeper. If she has no backpack than it's safe to look, but still be cautious if you choose to engage in conversation.

Benji- "That girl is cute but she looks like she might be young."
Joe- "Gotta use the backpack rule."
Benji -"What's the backpack rule?"
Joe- "If she's wearing a backpack she's too young."

*Hot girl walks in*

Joe- "See man, no backpack... she's fair game!"

by thanks babe March 29, 2012

Hose Rules

Spraying seniors with our hoses.

"Oh man, I can't wait to give those guys the hose rules treatment!"

by A.Non1989 December 5, 2011

Rule 34

Rule 34 if it exists there is porn of it

Steve:there is no way that pokemon porn exists

Bob:oh yeah "searches up pokemon porn"

Steve:Nononono

Bob:Told ya its because of rule 34

by Stormaggedon606 October 13, 2018

Merci Rule

when you run 0.01 of a mile so you decide to spoil yourself with 18 bigmacs

damn, i think its time for a Merci Rule!

by slimyhibber October 22, 2018