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The Christmas Rules sound like they would be a seasonal thing, but no, don't be fooled. The Christmas Rules are to be followed throughout the entire year if one would like to reach peak wisdom and enlightenment. Follow the Christmas Rules, and you will live a fulfilling life full of divine knowledge. The rules are as follows (and none can be taken lightly):

1. Celebrate.

2. Don't send soapy tiddy pics.

3. Don't be a simp. (fictional characters and celebrities such as Alex Turner are an exception)

4. FOLLOW THE GAMING FUNGUS. (the most important rule, if you follow the others rules and not this one, it doesn't count)

5. Become sped. (another form of saying speed, basically do everything as speedily as possible)
Person 1: "5 is my lucky number, that's why it's in my username."
Person 2: "Why 5?"

Person 1: "Well, I've followed all five of the Christmas rules for five years now and as a reward, and no, this is not a coincidence, I've found five dollars underneath my pillow every single morning. It just goes to show how following the Christmas Rules does nothing but make your life more divine. Join me, my bruddha, in my journey of following the Christmas Rules.
by fungusfollower69 June 21, 2021
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