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Monkey Toss

To jizz in your own hand and throw it across the room... preferably toward a small, easily scared animal outside your window.
With the quickness only an expert monkey tosser can have, Gary quickly rubbed one out and chucked it across the lawn at the neighbors dachshund.
by Rock Hardy August 20, 2007
mugGet the Monkey Tossmug.

bump monkeys

1. The act of two females interlocking their legs and humping genitalia to genitalia. 2. When two women Bump Uglies
I knew the party had just started when I caught 2 girls bumpin' monkeys in my room!! Sweet!!
by The Chef July 23, 2003
mugGet the bump monkeysmug.

Dirty Monkey

When a girl lies on her back legs up & the guy squats(catchers position). While thrusting and yelling like a monkey, the guy discreetly shits in his hand & throws it in her face.
After leaving Marks, Michael took Nancy back to Blake and Sarah's. Where he gave her the Dirty Monkey on there kitchen floor!
by Spainard October 23, 2011
mugGet the Dirty Monkeymug.

Feeding the Monkey

When one does something they know they shouldn't do.
Often used in poker terms, where someone calls hands they shouldn't, but applicable to several life situations.
Origins come from zoo patrons who feed the monkeys, ignoring the signs prohibiting such conduct. Usually in return the monkeys throw their feces at them.
"Wow... Patrick just lost like half his chip stack.." 'Yeah.. he keeps feeding the monkey."

"I'm so full.. but it's ALL YOU CAN EAT." "You're going to pay for it later if you keep feeding the monkey man..."
by JHall1790 January 11, 2009
mugGet the Feeding the Monkeymug.

Monkey Puzzle

A simple task that is undermined by one's own prolonged fumbling; a monkey puzzle is created once one has failed at a simple task multiple times.
*trying to turn the page of a book*
*page slips, try again*
*turns two pages by accident*
*book cover slips and closes by mistake, needs to re-find the page all over again*
"god damnit this is becoming a real monkey puzzle!"
by Yeebus November 29, 2021
mugGet the Monkey Puzzlemug.

Smoke Monkey

City dweller, especially from a capital or on of the primary cities of a nation.
Often best applied to a city dweller who is out of place in country or sub-urban surroundings.
Someone from a 'big smoke' environment.
A concrete Tarzan.
Possible car theif.
Bloke 1: Dave, your mate Mick's got a headstrong attitude, why's he in people's faces all the time?
Bloke 2: He's a good guy, mate, but what'd you expect, dude's a fucking smoke monkey.
by Snowcaller September 3, 2014
mugGet the Smoke Monkeymug.

Accounts Monkey

Somebody in a dead-end role that the careers adviser informed you would be great, but in fact is picking up up crap after (supposedly) senior staff and means a lifetime of pushing paper around pointlessly.
(In discussion between managers) "Who can we get to do this amazingly menial and pointless job?"
"Pass it to the Accounts Monkey, he's such a loser"
by Christophopopolous June 25, 2007
mugGet the Accounts Monkeymug.

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