Couch Creature

A person who spends 95% or more of their time on the couch....They eat on the couch...Sleep on the couch...And play video games either on the Phone or TV ....on the couch...they refuse to use sheets...the fact is the only time one of these people will get up off of the couch is to use the restroom (Hopefully) or to secure food, only to bring it back to the couch to eat it......Showers are very rare and usually in the very early AM hours. Getting rid of one can be tricky and should be well thought out.

Bill: "Dude , Jimmy has been living at our house for 2 weeks since his girl friend tossed him out."
Dude " Yeah and hes starting to smell, hasn't paid for anything, and he hasn't left the house once."
Bill " Left the house, Dude he hasn't gotten off the fucking couch....hes become some sort of Couch Creature.
Dude " I was thinking of lighting the couch on fire to see if he responds."
Bill " Yeah I think its our only hope"

by Stains and Smears May 21, 2019

Couch Lawyer

Someone who sits on the couch/chair/loveseat and only follows the case on TV, and bases their opinions on that case just by watching the TV.

You're such a couch lawyer, you base your opinions on what you see on TV.

by ZuNuKoo August 26, 2013

Couch Viking

Typically these people are out of shape, all bark no bite, and they spend too much time online as a keyboard warrior ready to go to Valhalla after dying in a video game battle. They may be neo nazis, they may be incels, they may be 4chan users, etc... Some couch vikings love spiritual warfare because it's the only type of warfare you can do while sitting on your ass.

If you're going to be Viking, don't be a Couch Viking

by Temiz August 14, 2023

Chick On The Couch

A needy, demanding girlfriend.

Are you coming to the concert or are you still dating that chick on the couch?

by dirtydictionarydusty March 20, 2023

Eat Couch

When your fucking a girl doggystyle on the couch and her face is on the cushions.

"Face in the pillow, ass up, I made her eat couch" 🎶

From the song
Eat Couch - by Hit-Boy & Spank Nitti James

by TRSN91 August 5, 2025

couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching ‘Flipper’ reruns, ‘Zeus and Roxanne,’ etc. , because the concept of human connection perplexes them.

Well… that Jim Dave fellow turned out to be a real couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?

by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024

Eskimo Couch

A snow made outdoor piece of furniture. They are typically long and cold and full of seamen.

"I can't wait to get this fishing boat back to land and put my feet up on my Eskimo couch!"

by Beboppsi January 29, 2022