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crunch monkey

Someone who eats like an animal. They chew with their mouth open, crunch loudly, talk with their mouth open, and are completely oblivious that they do it.
Mike: Dude...Jen is such a crunch monkey.
Bob: I can even see what she ate for breakfast!
by Mikizzle May 1, 2006
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varnished monkey

Someones who's really vain and makes an unecessary effort with their appearance e.g. a well oiled, beautifully bronzed sunbather at a tourist resort, or a cool kid with too much gel in their hair. The phrase was first used in german (lackierter Affe), and is a lovely description of that loathsome type of person.
Arnie: "Check out my beautifully oiled biceps"
Sally: "Wow! You're a real varnished monkey!"
by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006
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dung monkey

1. One who flings poop, particularly monkeys.

2. A person who reminds you of number one above.

3. Slang for someone whom you find obnoxious.

There can be a slight modification: "Hung-dung monkey" means the monkey with the big wang is a poop-flinger, for example.
That Mike can be a real pain in the ass. He's nothing but a dung monkey.
by JBFP May 29, 2008
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Sludge monkey

A poop that has the consistancy of chillie the next morning after having a long night of drinking. its similer to beer shits but way way way worse.
"Dude Tom, last night was hella crazy and im hung over as shit how do you feel?"

"man im just on the toilet making a sludge monkey and its awfull.
by god sammit January 26, 2011
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Fuzzy Monkey

A sexual position in which the man hangs from a tree upside down by his dick, while being sucked off by an entity (preferably a monkey)in the tree and also eating out a female on the ground level.
"God, my ex-gf was sooooo boring she wouldn't do a fuzzy monkey with me!"
by bitchbag42069696969 February 22, 2019
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Grating the monkey

When one engages the act of Masturbation
by Misfiit April 6, 2011
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shit sucking monkey raper

A derogatory name for people of African descent. Derived from the origins of jemken and the myth of man on monkey sex as the origin of AIDS.
That shit sucking monkey raper left his shoes and took off with the money for my sack!
by JustWrong July 2, 2012
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