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Alaskan McGuyver

The Alaskan McGuyver is when a man living in cold regions finds it difficult to jack off because his fingers have turned into icicles. He proceeds to put his bottle of lubricant of choice into the microwave at 100 percent power for 45 seconds to achieve a comfortable heat level and consistency for his subsequent jerk off sesh to Eskimo porn.

Always remember it's 0:45 not 4:50 on the timer and microwave cooking times may vary.
We got the first snow of the year tonight. My hands are so cold I'll have to pull an Alaskan McGuyver before I fire up pornohub.com.
by nancyscrew April 19, 2018
mugGet the Alaskan McGuyvermug.

alaskan king crabs

Crabs and genital warts combined
Shit man she gave me warts now I got Alaskan king crabs.
by 420024 anal June 18, 2018
mugGet the alaskan king crabsmug.

alaskan turtle fart

in the freezing cold one curls up in the fetal position and lets it rip
we were camping and she let out an alaskan turtle fart
by wonkydonkey312 July 18, 2024
mugGet the alaskan turtle fartmug.

alaskan amber

When you slide an ice cube into a red heads pussy.
Just picked up a pack of ice from the store so I could give Stacy an Alaskan amber. She’ll be so stoked!
by bobert bb October 4, 2021
mugGet the alaskan ambermug.

Alaskan Bear Hug

The act of, in the middle of a hug, wrapping you and your partner in plastic wrap. There you will be left for a day to shit, piss, jizz, anything you can come up with. When unwrapped, the concoction will be saved in jars to be later used as a butter substitute.
I've been missing for so long because Julia and I have been doing the Alaskan Bear hug.
by TheReplicator March 28, 2022
mugGet the Alaskan Bear Hugmug.

savage alaskan

When your significant other shoves snow down your pants, promptly swipe it through your ass cheeks and splat her on the forehead
We were outside smoking a cigarette and got a snowball down my pants, so I gave her a savage alaskan
by ThePelvicPunisher March 14, 2018
mugGet the savage alaskanmug.

Alaskan Snow Dog

The Alaskan Snow Dog is used when your partner is on all four. You quickly through Snow on your dick and shove it in while yelling "MUSH"
She was on all fours so I Alaskan Snow dogged her.
by Flatended May 31, 2022
mugGet the Alaskan Snow Dogmug.

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