crunch monkey

Someone who eats like an animal. They chew with their mouth open, crunch loudly, talk with their mouth open, and are completely oblivious that they do it.

Mike: Dude...Jen is such a crunch monkey.
Bob: I can even see what she ate for breakfast!

by Mikizzle May 1, 2006

Monkey Truth

The kind of truth that comes out after one take's his/her mask off.

It took hours of discussions for the monkey truth to come out. Perhaps the wine allowed the mask to come off to understand her true feelings about her destiny.

by djk_wff March 29, 2009

Fuzzy Monkey

A sexual position in which the man hangs from a tree upside down by his dick, while being sucked off by an entity (preferably a monkey)in the tree and also eating out a female on the ground level.

"God, my ex-gf was sooooo boring she wouldn't do a fuzzy monkey with me!"

by bitchbag42069696969 February 22, 2019

monkey closet

don’t open my monkey closet i said to the guy he did and he got eaten to death and died and there was blood

person 1: “dont open my monkey closet”
person 2: *does*
there is blood

by aceofspad3s December 31, 2021

Fez Monkey

The highest level of being, the highest point of evolution. Only a select few ever make it to this.

The Fez Monkey is infinitely more advanced than the normal homo sapien.

by Shouryu Nanase March 2, 2004

fen monkey

Inbred under evolved East Anglian local people - more like a monkey than a human. East Anglia is statistically the most inbred area in the British Isles. It's residents are scared of the outside world, never venturing further than the local McDonalds. They mostly marry their cousins. The small gene pool produces monkey faced locals that inbreed frequently creating more monkey faced knuckle dragging kids. Despite their tribal existence they have no pride in East Anglia and moan all the time about how shit it is to live there - on this point they are correct but they are the problem.

Peterborough, Wisbech, Whittlesey are just some of examples of the local towns whose uneducated fen monkey residents are so insular that they are inherently rascist and bigoted. They persecute migrant workers that have settled in their towns to do all the jobs that they don't want to do or are incapable of doing. What these East Anglian retards don't realise is that they have no culture of their own whatsoever. The alpha males in Peterborough like nothing more than a rascist chant to support their local piss poor football team and then a jeering stand off with the away fans in the car park afterwards. They are actually a bunch of fucking cowards though. The minute it looks like one of them might get hit, they run back to the cover of the bushes and their vauxhall astras.

They should welcome the influx of hardworking foreigners as they just may create some cultural diversity and boost the gene pool that might make East Anglia a bareable place to live.

by 9 - 5 pacifist October 12, 2007

bump monkeys

1. The act of two females interlocking their legs and humping genitalia to genitalia. 2. When two women Bump Uglies

I knew the party had just started when I caught 2 girls bumpin' monkeys in my room!! Sweet!!

by The Chef July 23, 2003