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Sludge monkey

A poop that has the consistancy of chillie the next morning after having a long night of drinking. its similer to beer shits but way way way worse.
"Dude Tom, last night was hella crazy and im hung over as shit how do you feel?"

"man im just on the toilet making a sludge monkey and its awfull.
by god sammit January 26, 2011
mugGet the Sludge monkeymug.

varnished monkey

Someones who's really vain and makes an unecessary effort with their appearance e.g. a well oiled, beautifully bronzed sunbather at a tourist resort, or a cool kid with too much gel in their hair. The phrase was first used in german (lackierter Affe), and is a lovely description of that loathsome type of person.
Arnie: "Check out my beautifully oiled biceps"
Sally: "Wow! You're a real varnished monkey!"
by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006
mugGet the varnished monkeymug.

Monkey Crusher

Meth pipe used to smoke crystal methamphetamine or meth
Don't forget to pickup a Monkey Crusher at the BP gas station.
by 8250 February 11, 2010
mugGet the Monkey Crushermug.

Pubic Monkeys

The undefined itchings from an untrimmed and unkempt pubic patch
Haroldes' been scratchin his crotch like he's got pubic monkeys
by Tapio July 16, 2008
mugGet the Pubic Monkeysmug.

Fez Monkey

The highest level of being, the highest point of evolution. Only a select few ever make it to this.
The Fez Monkey is infinitely more advanced than the normal homo sapien.
by Shouryu Nanase March 2, 2004
mugGet the Fez Monkeymug.

fen monkey

Inbred under evolved East Anglian local people - more like a monkey than a human. East Anglia is statistically the most inbred area in the British Isles. It's residents are scared of the outside world, never venturing further than the local McDonalds. They mostly marry their cousins. The small gene pool produces monkey faced locals that inbreed frequently creating more monkey faced knuckle dragging kids. Despite their tribal existence they have no pride in East Anglia and moan all the time about how shit it is to live there - on this point they are correct but they are the problem.
Peterborough, Wisbech, Whittlesey are just some of examples of the local towns whose uneducated fen monkey residents are so insular that they are inherently rascist and bigoted. They persecute migrant workers that have settled in their towns to do all the jobs that they don't want to do or are incapable of doing. What these East Anglian retards don't realise is that they have no culture of their own whatsoever. The alpha males in Peterborough like nothing more than a rascist chant to support their local piss poor football team and then a jeering stand off with the away fans in the car park afterwards. They are actually a bunch of fucking cowards though. The minute it looks like one of them might get hit, they run back to the cover of the bushes and their vauxhall astras.

They should welcome the influx of hardworking foreigners as they just may create some cultural diversity and boost the gene pool that might make East Anglia a bareable place to live.
by 9 - 5 pacifist October 12, 2007
mugGet the fen monkeymug.

Monkey Toss

To jizz in your own hand and throw it across the room... preferably toward a small, easily scared animal outside your window.
With the quickness only an expert monkey tosser can have, Gary quickly rubbed one out and chucked it across the lawn at the neighbors dachshund.
by Rock Hardy August 20, 2007
mugGet the Monkey Tossmug.

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