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Daniel Day Lewis 

Daniel Day Lewis is a god among men. He lives with mankind, tricking them into believing he's just another human being. He most certainly has killed a man. He has collected enough scalps to fill a tanned and cured bear's stomach.

After becoming President of the United States, he went into a Baltimore Best Buy and just started freeing employees.

No one knows what DDL did with the eye he carved out of himself to prepare for Gangs of New York. Nor does anyone know the name of the drifter he plucked his new eye from, optic nerve still attached, pausing only to turn it back on the man, so his last sight was his own horrified visage.

Daniel Day Lewis is the REAL Chuck Norris. He ripped his own face off just to make a point but it immediately grew back into the handsome, badass visage we know and love today.
Guy: Hey, who is that badass dude that looks just like Abraham Lincoln?

Girl: That's Daniel Day Lewis, method acting his way into another Oscar. Don't mess with him because he will kill you and eat your face off.

National Crush Day 

The girl you like you have to confess to her
I asked out my girl on National Crush Day
Related Words
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National give your boyfriend your scrunchie day 

It’s is on September 19
It is national give your boyfriend your scrunchie day

back in my day 

The way an old man tells you to stop whining about shit that people back in their day did differently
Old Man: Back in my day, we didnt have toilet paper, we just wiped our asses with leaves

Young Man: Holy Shit, that must've sucked ass.
back in my day by GrapeRape69 October 16, 2014

National No Homo Day 

This day will take place Saturday, October 26, 2019. This grants anyone participate in homosexual acts with their homies and not be required to say no homo.
Alex: Sean it’s National no homo day, you already what we’re doing!
Sean: Yo bro let’s have gay sex!!!
Alex: *moan*

National Rape Day 

This is not a pass to violate someone you fucking degenerate. If you think this is real you can go fuck yourself.
Fuckface 1: Hey there! It’s National Rape Day!
Me: No, and for that. You can go die.

national dick pic day 

Happens December 2 it's when u take a picture of your dick and send it to the person who sent u this if your brave enough
National Dick pic day means taking a picture of your dick