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Carpenters assistant

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to give someone fallatio while they operate a power tool
Patty gave joe one hell of a carpenters assistant last week
by Gootee Root October 13, 2011
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Carpenters Pencil

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A Carpenters pencil is when a male/female brings a male to climax by wanking them off with their ear. They then sit on the persons face after.
by Christy 2011 May 8, 2011
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Robert Carpenter

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An absolute bum Lord.
Spends his entire life playing video consoles that half the world has not heard of and claims he is the best when playing with his friends, who barely know the game.

A drunken homo who thinks he is living the dream, but spends his money down the same pub drinking with the same people every night after a pathetic day's work.
He generally sleeps in the van hanging from the night before because he fucking useless.
In fact he is not any good when he is sober hence the drinking, because facing the reality of being a loser is to much for a person of his weakness.

A frail and scared little man that could fall over at the sight a door mouse.
Can't really see the point of this creature.

Guess they broke the mould with this ridiculous being.

If you come across one, just ignore it, it has nothing to offer you at all.

Would rather talk to road kill.
Oh dear there's a Robert carpenter.
Keep walking
by Dreamspeech February 3, 2019
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carpenter job

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when you get a rusty nail full of tetanus and cram it down your urethra with a hammer.
dude, i just gave myself the most gnarly carpenter job over with a sledge-hammer.
by reidilydeidily March 24, 2010
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Carpenters Bukkake

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Stemming from ancient Nordic boatbuilding times, this traditional hazing ritual has been rebirthed in the extended modern woodworking community and is still revered as a right of passage in this noblest of trades

An appreciative apprentice kneels within a standing circle of their peers, where as a true sign of respect, proceed to masturbate furiously over the face of "the chosen one".

Once the youngling has been supremely coated, this is directly followed by a large battering of sawdust to aid the curing process.

An important step is to have Rick Astley play in the background.

The pupil now becomes the plastered master
A-Boy: The new guys really coming into his own, how long has he been here for?
B-Boy: I remember his first day, has to be about three years now
C-Boy: Oh boy, looks like he's prime for a Carpenters Bukkake, I'll grab the lube and dust
A-Boy: (singing) never gonna, never gonna, never gonna...
B-Boy: Kneel child, it's time for us to pay our respects
D-Boy: Thanks guys, it's such an honou……(muffled gargle)
by The phantom tanner March 11, 2019
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carpenter

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the act of a woman giving a hand job while holding a piece of sandpaper.
"dude! i almost went to the hospital 'cause that bitch tried to give me a carpenter"
by stoak May 8, 2010
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The Carpenters Roll

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Wrapping your dick around a doorknob, then pulling down on the tip, thus turning the handle and opening the door.
G1: Dude, check this out
G2: If you do the carpenters roll, again, then I'm going to call the cops
G1: *already undoing his belt* huh?
by Alchemist657 February 19, 2022
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