flat mash

A disfigured vagina requiring corrective surgery from the result of riding ones bicycle for a extended period of time.

"I've ridden my bike for 20hrs this week, my vagina is a flat mash after that"

by Sukmydix February 1, 2017

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flat wipe

A tortilla. Tortillas, or Mexican spoons, are not only useful for wrapping food up, but can also be used as scoops or for wiping up that last bit of chile relleno.

Who needs spoons when I've got flat wipes!

by TheSpaceShowMustGoOn May 6, 2014

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flat Champagne

Flat Champagne. Adjective. Used to describe a leader, Liz Truss, who claims her "Liz Fizz" economic plans are a work of a genius.

Also used to describe a bitter Daily Express/Mail reader

Did you hear about the "Liz Fizz"? Turns out it was fucking flat Champagne, again.

by ToryBoyRulez September 30, 2022

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kevlar flat smack

To smack a soldier on the ass with a nice piece of fresh kevlar

Hello fellow soldier care to give me a kevlar flat smack?
Why yes fellow soldier i would love to flat smack that ass with some kevlar
*proceeds to smack that sweet ass*
*gay buttsex proceeds with the soldiers ripened ass receiving some bomb ass dick*

by Devin the pedophile April 27, 2017

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Broomhead Flats

A majestic trio o’ high-rise palaces proudly scarring the skyline near Dunfermline city centre. These fine establishments boast a rare blend o’ Scotland’s top-tier scatter flats and semi-functioning jakeys, spread majestically across 11 floors. Famed for their panoramic vistas—best enjoyed mid-air—the red block remains the go-to departure lounge for any da who's lost a rammy wi’ the bairn’s maw. Fitba socks oan, roll-up hingin’ fae the gub, and a final ‘aw fuck this’—ye cannae beat tradition.

If ye've never seen a polis chase end in Broomhead Flats, have ye even lived in Fife?

by Red Rose UK February 17, 2025

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