by airsafe September 4, 2020
Get the COVID Time mug.DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are asymptomatic COVID carrier.
ME: Whaat, bruh? Naw, I feel good! I ain’t infected! What am I infected with?
DOCTOR: COVID, the test was for COVID. You are infected. With the COVID virus.
ME: That’s some bullshit! That ain’t me! I’m good, baby! 100% Beastmode!!
DOCTOR: Sorry sir, but the tests are accurate. You are an asymptomatic COVID carrier and you are at risk of infecting others.
ME: you ain't hearing me? Beast-fuckin’-Mode!
DOCTOR: You’ll need to quarantine yourself and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the spread of COVID.
ME: Quara-what? Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! You want me to die? Thought you was a doctor?!
DOCTOR: MmmKay. Sir. If I may...?
1) stop being a little bitch.
2) think about others you might infect.
3) wear your fucking mask, you bitchass fucktard.
4) Where my copay at, son???
ME: It’s just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati)…fucking masks…
DOCTOR: Oh, and the mask covers you mouth AND YOUR NOSE. Because the COVID virus is up in your nose. So cover your fucking nose, Captain Beastmode. Stethoscope droppppp!!
ME: Whaat, bruh? Naw, I feel good! I ain’t infected! What am I infected with?
DOCTOR: COVID, the test was for COVID. You are infected. With the COVID virus.
ME: That’s some bullshit! That ain’t me! I’m good, baby! 100% Beastmode!!
DOCTOR: Sorry sir, but the tests are accurate. You are an asymptomatic COVID carrier and you are at risk of infecting others.
ME: you ain't hearing me? Beast-fuckin’-Mode!
DOCTOR: You’ll need to quarantine yourself and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the spread of COVID.
ME: Quara-what? Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! You want me to die? Thought you was a doctor?!
DOCTOR: MmmKay. Sir. If I may...?
1) stop being a little bitch.
2) think about others you might infect.
3) wear your fucking mask, you bitchass fucktard.
4) Where my copay at, son???
ME: It’s just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati)…fucking masks…
DOCTOR: Oh, and the mask covers you mouth AND YOUR NOSE. Because the COVID virus is up in your nose. So cover your fucking nose, Captain Beastmode. Stethoscope droppppp!!
by Magic Brain Pills September 6, 2020
Get the Asymptomatic COVID mug.DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are an asymptomatic COVID carrier. Do you wear a mask?
ME: Asswhaaahh, bruh? Naw, I feel good! How a mask gonna help? My ass ain’t infected!
DOCTOR: I wouldn’t recommend wearing it there. You strike me as a pleasant, but obnoxiously stubborn man. As an ASS-CO (Asymptomatic COVID) carrier, you’ll need to quarantine yourself for two weeks and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the airborne spread of COVID. Also take these pills.
ME: Quarra-what? Ass Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! Masks are just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati). …wut Pills?
DOCTOR: Magic Brain Pills (MBPs) that will temporarily make you smart enough to wear the ASS-CO mask over your mouth AND nose. As we cheerfully say in healthcare, “Don’t be a dumb cunt who can’t wear a mask correctly!”
ME: Asswhaaahh, bruh? Naw, I feel good! How a mask gonna help? My ass ain’t infected!
DOCTOR: I wouldn’t recommend wearing it there. You strike me as a pleasant, but obnoxiously stubborn man. As an ASS-CO (Asymptomatic COVID) carrier, you’ll need to quarantine yourself for two weeks and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the airborne spread of COVID. Also take these pills.
ME: Quarra-what? Ass Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! Masks are just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati). …wut Pills?
DOCTOR: Magic Brain Pills (MBPs) that will temporarily make you smart enough to wear the ASS-CO mask over your mouth AND nose. As we cheerfully say in healthcare, “Don’t be a dumb cunt who can’t wear a mask correctly!”
by Magic Brain Pills September 6, 2020
Get the ASS-CO (asymptomatic covid) mug.Man Bryce, (sarcastically) I really admire your covidence In throwing a party during this pandemic! You have so much self-covidence approaching that girl without a mask on bro!
by WakeyWai September 7, 2020
Get the covidence mug.When amusement park visitors who wish to ride a roller coaster are banned from screaming during the minutes-long trip lest their high-pitched voices might spread the virus to those around them if they happen to be asymptomatic.
In Japan, due to the Covid-🎢 ruling, most parents are discouraging their kids from taking part in any rides.
by MathPlus September 10, 2020
Get the Covid-🎢 mug.When someone uses their COVID FACE to lure in lovers knowing damn well they ain't cute under that mask.
by VERISSA SHOMO September 10, 2020
Get the COVID CATFISH mug.When bookmakers worldwide are crazy-busy changing the odds on whether President Trump would be re-elected or not, based on the good and bad news that come out about him and his morally bankrupt administration every hour of the day.
Thanks to Covid-🎲, with billions of bucks changing hands, hundreds of millionaires (and thousands of zeronaires) are expected to emerge come November 3.
by Covido September 12, 2020
Get the Covid-🎲 mug.