The Blind Monkey

if yo momma ask you “hand me that remote right there” & you mumble “you better ask the blind monkey” that “ask the blind monkey” shit replaces the look you give her when she saying bullshit before she pop yo ass

“you’re late to class again, i’ll be making a phone call to your mother asking why you’re always late” okay bitch you better ask the blind monkey

by swagmastermf November 23, 2021

blind stick

your friend is coming over soon
to comfort you
she may be troubled herself
but that won't keep her from doing
what she thinks is right
🖤

my child broke my glasses
I am using a selfmade blind stick now.

by Krkič April 13, 2019

blind baby

A one eyed brother in law

Hey blind baby lets go deer hunting

by poor slinky neck November 02, 2016

Bathroom blindness

The temporary blindness you get when entering the bathroom after you've just woken up

"I knocked down the soap in a fit of bathroom blindness"

by fatttt December 11, 2016

Cheeto Blindness

Too orange to see

Don had a bad case of Cheeto Blindness so he couldn’t see between the white lines.

by Totesmagoots October 03, 2020

Stroking it blind

The act of parking in a dark or dim lit area

The trucker was stroking it blind since it was dark

by Heather Kerns May 01, 2024

Stroking it blind

The act of parking in a dark or dim lit area

“Dude, where were you?”
“Sorry, I had to be careful as I was stroking it blind”

by Heather Kerns April 23, 2024