Crud Muffin

A large puffy poop turd

Michelle : Oh Mark I sure did miss your hard dick inside me Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Mark : Oh Michelle I sure did miss your soft pussy YEE! YEE! YEE! (splat) OOPS!
Michelle : OOPS! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL?
Mark : Oh nothing just a little Crud Muffin come on let's cuddlefuck!
Michelle : LITTLE IT'S THE SIZE OF A SOFTBALL? You pooped a Crud Muffin on my leg while you was pounding my pussy! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BED!
Mark : Uh I believe this is our bed and I want to cuddlefuck!
Michelle : Uh we are divorced and this is my bed GET THE FUCK OUT!
Mark : (sniff) (sniff)
Michelle : And take your god damn Crud Muffin with you! (splat)
Steve : Hey Mark you look so sexy with that Crud Muffin on your face Mmmm!
Mark : Wow Steve thanks! (sniff) (sniff)
Michelle : MARK WHY THE HELL IS SOME GUY LICKING YOUR FACE AND RUBBING YOUR COCK!
Mark : I don't know but it feel's kinda nice! (sniff) (sniff)
Michelle : GROSS! Im calling the cops!
Steve : You know Mark in prison you can get fucked in the ass and blow Crud Muffins everywhere!
Mark : Wow that sounds kinda nice! (sniff) (sniff)
Michelle : Hello Police two gay guy's broke into my house and there are Crud Muffins everywhere!
Steve : Mmmm! Crud Muffins! (wink)

by SlopNChop November 30, 2018

Mouthy Muffin

A fat 30 something woman with a flat face who lectures high value men for not being married to other 30 somethings with a notch count of 100+ men. Is a feminist, often found attending weddings of her mates who have cuckolded weak men. Gives her fat simp cousin hand jobs at the back of the Home and tells him he has a full head of hair. Arranges marriages and regularly cuckolds her husband gyrating her fat hole on the dance floor of the Home while he watches from the bar.

Got confronted by the Mouthy Muffin on Saturday night. Told me I need to be married

by Fat J 80s February 03, 2023

muffin smash

To force your vagina on someone's face.

"dude, we were just hanging out and the next thing I know I got muffin smashed. "

by High5yourcat September 20, 2015

purple muffin

A slang for ass-turtle or crump-stick

Shut up John your such a purple muffin!

by Chris Gunnels May 26, 2007

muffin face

It is a reference to a female who is somewhat ditzy yet cute at the same with with round cheeks.

"Aw look at that little girl, she's such a muffin face!"

by Muffinsss January 16, 2012

chud muffin

Chud muffin
is a saying derived from the word chud,the Northern way of saying chode, this refers to a man that has a penis that is wider then it is long. The muffin is meant to be humorous.

Get of of my lawn yah stinking chud muffin.

by RoundElephant September 12, 2007

Slut Muffin

A slut muffin is a phrase created by Bobbie Lee Silver to describe people who act/look like sluts, yet aren't completely disrespected due to a cuteness or innocence. Most accusations tend to be targeted towards younger girls who dress in revealing outfits and/or flirt with older guys. This is also used as slang to indicate that the girl is acting in sluttish way, but can be used as sarcasm to show an outfit is cute yet skimpy. It could also be used to describe boys who have many girls clinging to him, but is mostly refered to as a slut monkey (the male equivilent to slut muffin).

"Tanya is such a little slut muffin! She's only 13 and David is 18! How dare she grind on him!"

"Aw, look at the little slut muffin in her mini skirt"

by Sakine June 25, 2009