The Church

That's your fucking story? That the church swooped in and stopped all the raping and pillaging?

Hym "Holy shit you ACTUALLY did it! You gave the church credit for stopping rape. Go watch it. Everybody was raping and pillaging. Then the agricultural revolution happened and the people who hoarded resources started out-reproducing everyone. Then the church came along marriage saved everyone from rape... Except nobody told Christopher Columbus because I'm pretty sure his guys were raping and pillaging. There's some skepticism around it regarding his diary claiming that in his diary he told them not to rape. I know you're going to say here 'Columbus didn't work for the church!' And he didn't fucking have to you idiot. If the 'central guiding ethos' is the cause of everything that happens in a culture then it's the central guiding ethos. And as far as the bible is concerned, rape is rewarded. If you rape someone, according to the bible, you have to take the person as your wife. So, it's like pissing on a tree. There are MEN who ALMOST get raped in the bible. And the guy is like 'No, please, take my prostitute and daughter instead.' And take the daughter and prostitute they did. They didn't like the prostitute. They chopped her up pretty good. But it actively takes credit for every moral advancement humans make in real time. It didn't do that. It just unified the whites under one banner and the it came for eberyone else. Still, it's closer to MY theory of historical inter-sexual relationships than the red-pill dorks so... CORRECT AGAIN! The correctest man strikes again!"

by Hym Iam November 13, 2023

The π = 3 Church

When believers subscribe to the uncompromising view that any numbers or fractions mentioned in, or mathematical constants derived from, the Bible must be taken literally with zero room for approximation, adulteration, or subtraction.

Founded by a group of Bible literalists-turned-theomaticians, the π = 3 Church has so far failed to appeal to pre-believers and the converted, especially those who’re allergic to school or college math, despite regularly distributing free pies and pizzas to the poor in the community.

by Fasters February 12, 2023

church lady kool-aid

Origin: Lutheran

CHERRY (and only cherry) Kool-aid mix WITH the sugar AND 1-1.5 more cups of sugar added. Often paired with Oreos.... and then Dodgeball. #PraiseJesus

You don't need alcohol or drugs, you will be flying high enough on church lady kool-aid.

by kisserT September 4, 2022

Church

Church or going to church is widely used in out law motorcycle clubs to mean a meeting or going to a meeting at the MC's hang out, club house, building where only full members (patched members) attend to talk about business and members vote to approve or not approve the club's activities.

Motorcycle President is calling a "church" session today all members must attend

by The original Gman August 20, 2017

The church kids

Stereotypical Trump loving, started smoking at 13, love 2 hunt & fish, redneck type

The church kids started a fire in one of their back yards after communion last Sunday.

by Franz Ferdinand June 26, 2025

Church

The Last Name Church Means Your Mother and Father Will Always Stick Together if You Do Something Wrong Your Punishment Is Probably Going To Fuck You Over

Did You Hear Those Church parents Last night

Yes I Did

by Harry1727 November 23, 2021

church camped

When your girls goes to church camp for a week a returns saying she loves jesus more than you!

Craig just got church camped And is now Crying.

by JobinSwag October 13, 2015