grandpa's an asshole

A sick yet great song by Blink 182!

When you fucked grandpa did he tell you that he loved you
Did he hold you till the sun did rise
and did he look into your eyes
and ask you to felate him
and stick a finger or two in his ass

He seems like a total asshole
Grandpa is a total fucking asshole
Who would ever want a dirty greasy finger in his ass
he rubs his dick in broken glass

when you fucked grandpa did he kiss you soft and tender
did he tie your hands behind your head
and was it on your mother's bed

and this is stupid man! I can't believe you'd have sex with your own grandfather. I mean you guys are related! Whats he gonna do, take out his false teeth and just leave them on the side of your bed? Man, he likes to fuck you up the bottom, and grandma would come in and watch, and masturbate, and cum all over the place, and this is stupid! I hate you all! I'm not even gonna have sex with my mom tonight! Man, this is stupid! I hate you!

by Lizzy March 19, 2005

asshole crumbs

Sporadic, weak or low-investment gestures of interest from a suiter or would-be partnerm that obscures the fact that the suiter or would be partner is not actually invested in the relationship. Often employed to keep the relationship just barely going in a way that does not heavily burden the person delivering the asshole crumbs but keeps his or her options perennially open.

After we had sex the first time she said she is scared that she is falling in love with me, but since then all I've gotten is a text now and then and some other asshole crumbs. OR : Narcissists are very good at sprikling some asshole crumbs in front of you just as you're about to completely write them off.

by Bill from Boston April 11, 2017

Asshole switch

A part of someone’s brain that is triggered in mysterious ways, causing them to (re)act like an asshole to an innocent comment

All I did was ask him to copy me on that email, and he freaked the hell out. Must have flipped his asshole switch. Damn.

by Fortyphobic November 17, 2018

Mitchell’s Asshole

A dare a very young man did in the name of RAMEZ MOSAD! He put his hands over his cheeks and spreaded away

“Dude did you see the picture of Mitchell’s Asshole?”

by Marlbanda October 27, 2018

Academic Asshole

A person who only cares abut the marks they get in everything and has no friends.

*James hey i got 100/100

*Max sooo what

*James im better then YOU!
*shut up you Academic Asshole

by meowmlg August 26, 2015

asshole shirt

A man's dress shirt that has a color or pattern, except on the collar and cuffs, which are white. Asshole shirts are frequently set off with gold cufflinks or a tie clip. So called because the great majority of men who wear them are assholes.

I don't trust that politician/commentator/etc. because he often wears an asshole shirt on camera.
Look out! The boss is wearing an asshole shirt today.

by Trenko May 10, 2017

respected asshole

Adj. A oxymoron to describe a person who is highly respected but at the same time, this person gets away with being an asshole due to established hierarchy status.

Example:
1."My boss is the biggest "respected asshole" I have ever known.

2. "Hey that punk ass mod banned me for getting tired of his shit!" "Fuck him, from now on hes a "very overly respected asshole!"

by noneofyourfuckingbusness October 21, 2012