Poopy Fart Masturbation

The event in which one individual endures a stomach ache while attempting to masturbate.
John: "I had a Poopy Fart Masturbation happen to me last night."
Andrew: "Tf?"
by dick_pisser_765 March 26, 2021
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Canadian Masturbate

The act of freezing ones foreskin to the point it snaps and cracks when one gets an erection.
"Don't pick a fight with me, or I'll Canadian Masturbate all over you!"
by Nacho Gomez October 9, 2024
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Masturbate

When you are so depressed that it's your only way of escape. Sure you can get pleasure from it, but it's temporary. And then you get even more depressed. Like cigarettes, It begins as a very fun and new and exciting process, given that you just discovered your puberty. But over the years, you just get tired of it.

You get tired over it and want to stop this once and for all. But you can't. You can't because it's just so addicting. It's basically self harm but a lot, lot less painful and harmful. But its still tiring. You can't stop. You regret ever starting it. But it's your only way of escape, from all your pain, suffering, and tiredness. Ever time you masturbate, you feel absolutely ashamed, pathetic, miserable and like an absolute piece of shit.

You start by feeling horny as fuck, either you probably open p*rn or just create pictures in your head of whatever fetish you have. I mostly have a fetish of female neck movement, and (partly) NATURAL and NOT FORCED female hiccups and burps. Enough of that. After that you hold your cock or shove in pussy (depends if you're a boy or girl. I am of the former.) And then you pleasure yourself as if you're having sex, but you actually don't. Many use lubricants like lotion or oil, or soap when you're in shower. but I personally prefer dry. I mostly masturbate during shower and before sleep. It's shitty, really.
Corbin: *goes to sleepover and can't masturbate*
Corbin: "guess I won't sleep today. I really need to masturbate. But I don't wanna. Man, my life just keep getting shitter."
by Joshua Joestar (MvN) June 20, 2022
mugGet the Masturbatemug.

Cellular Masturbation

A person who plays on their cellphone while on the toilet
I think there is cellular masturbation going on in the stall over because he is laughing for no reason whatsoever.
by jondich February 1, 2021
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Masturbation

The only thing that makes me feel alive.
Masturbation time!
by Hitmantheman February 1, 2024
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Masturbation

That thing whats girls will never tell you they do it everyday too like you. Do not lie. Everyone knows you doing right now too. Just stop it for a min.
"I never masturbate cause it's deleting memory. I read it like a half year ago... or 3 months? I can't remember.... masturbation (I have to write it to submit this help😁)
by NeverMasturbates April 4, 2019
mugGet the Masturbationmug.

free range masturbation

The accomplishment that comes with masturbating in many locations and positions
My wife left for her family trip so I took up free range masturbation around the house.
by Justjamesar December 23, 2022
mugGet the free range masturbationmug.

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