Choking the turtle

Clenching one's butt cheeks to prevent a bowel movement.

I shouldn't have eaten that 7-11 burrito, I've been choking the turtle for the last 15 minutes.

by Johnny Quag September 23, 2014

Retard Turtle

When performing the Awkward Turtle, The person who doesn't know how to properly conduct it and instead face the palms to each other.

Person 1: *Performs retard turtle* "Awkward..."
Person 2: Dude, that turtle is retarded.

by MikenRiss July 8, 2010

Turtle Nips

The genetic abnormality that gives its victims nipples that closely resemble a snapping turtles.

AS: Dude you got fuckin turtle nips!
MW: Your gay I was born with this.

by Antwan s February 17, 2008

evict the turtle

From "Turtle heading," when you force out the "Turtle, also see "Decapitate" the turtle

"dude, i was turtle heading so bad, totally busting my guts, till im gonna go evict the turtle in your room"

by Dan the pc butcher February 29, 2008

tardy the turtle

"Slow" turtle from 'The Greg the Bunny Show". Has a Phd from Harvard and like to eat sandwiches.

Tardy the Turtle:"The crayon's taste like purple"

by theangryscot September 29, 2006

turtle fuck

To light a cigarette off of another cigarette that is already lit

John: I need a light for my cigarette.
Bob: I don't have anymore matches, I'll just give you a turtle fuck.

by jiblair July 26, 2005

Turtle head

Used when describing an intense need to crap.

Hurry up and stop at a bathroom, I've got a turtle head.

by Club 333 February 24, 2005