Captain Obvious

A person who states the evident to the exasperation of others.

You stub your toe on a coffee table and shriek in pain.

Captain Obvious says, "Dude, did that hurt?"

You Reply: "Duh! Captain Obvious!"

by Ms. Jenkins July 4, 2007

tugboat captain

A girl who is extremely loud during intercourse, like that of a tugboat horn sounding when entering the harbor, except the guys wangchung is entering her hootah.

I put it in her hootah, and she went all tugboat captain on me

by Baboom November 1, 2007

captain planet

three words: he's the devil
he is summoned up by Gaia worshiping hippie fucktards into wicca

Ted Turner has serious mental issues.
captain planet is the gayest thing ever
even Richard Simmons is saying "god damn that show is gay!"

by me April 8, 2006

captain's platter

To pinch a fat load and/or diarrhea atop the toilet lid.

I had diarrhea and didn't have time to lift the lid, so I left a big soupy captain's platter.

by Choadblower January 15, 2006

captain kirk

verb - The act of pushing toilet paper up you hole and twisting it around to make sure you are extra clean up there because much like the legendary star trek commander you are boldly going where no mans gone before in order to circle Uranus in search of Klingons!

I was sure she was going to toss my salad so I Captain Kirked real good

by Johnny DeWadd Watkins December 11, 2008

captain Crunch

when you stick cereal in the girl's pussy, then the guy fucks her and cums in her, finishing it off with 'the milk', then eats it all

he ate the whole bowl of life cereal right before my eyes! dam that was a good captain Crunch

by Adonay October 3, 2007

cheerleading captain

Basicly the bitch of the cheerleading operation. They are usually spotted wearing the school colors, ribbons in their hair, and a simple jacket. To them everyday is cheerleading day, and it's not just a hobby it's a way of life. Cheerleading captains can either be smart academic wise or just a plain dumb slut. The area you reside in determines how trashy, slutty, smart, or determined these girls are. They rule with an iron fist during pratices in gym, and if you don't follow their lead they were surely make your life a living hell by either spreading false rumors about you ("OMG Becky is such a slut. She gave it hard to Mitch on the football team.") or ignoring your ass to the point of insanity.

Come on now cheerleading captains, be reasonable. What can you do with your life if all you do is cheerlead and talk shit?

by Tory the Deadsy Fan April 12, 2007