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Closet Monkey

That dude James keeps eyeing other dudes... he's such a closet Closet Monkey!
by Blegh the big Dicker October 10, 2022
mugGet the Closet Monkeymug.

Closet Band

A musical artist or band that a person only listens to in the closet just to avoid the ridicule & laughter from the other 99% of people in the world who hate their music or image.
"Cornelius pretends to like Nine Inch Nails because he wants to mingle with my friends, but Peyton Parrish is his favorite Closet Band. He goes home and flails his arms to his music while dancing to him and everything!"
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO May 29, 2023
mugGet the Closet Bandmug.

closet candy crusher

One who secretly smokes methamphetamine out of hookers buttholes using a special ass bong device. It is like a normal bong except that the bottom is open, allowing the water chamber to be the rectum of said hooker.
Bro: "Yo man I heard Randy is a closet candy crusher. Dude smokes ice out of skank booty."

Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"

Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."
by the mysterious j September 7, 2013
mugGet the closet candy crushermug.

Closet Beagle

Usually found in the Mid-west, a renouned breed of dog that resides 100% of it's life in a "Ginger"'s closet. The Closet Beagle and the Ginger usually bond for life, creating an inner world of fantasy and illusions. The most notable Closet Beagle was "Bagel", owned by a Ginger in Kansas, Bagel became the mascot of mid-west started "Kult", a transendental meditaion group whos core value set revolves around the Duality of Man.
You know, Ben certainly is a Closet Beagle, always alone and only associates with Gingers.
by Quart-a-Milk April 2, 2010
mugGet the Closet Beaglemug.

crystal closet

someone who says they're really straight (them being in the closet) but in reality, they're gayer than all rainbows combined, but they don't wanna admit it (hence the term crystal closet, because everyone except them can see through their closeted behavior. the trans equivalent for this would be "egg".)
x: have you seen z? they're so gay it's turning me homophobic, like come out already!
y: typical crystal closet behavior, they'll grow out of it (i hope)
z: IM NOT GAY ISTG
by Toh.gayest.show September 4, 2023
mugGet the crystal closetmug.

closet cusser

Very sweet , shy, quiet individual, but behind closed doors has the dirtiest mouth in history.
Oh my gosh, Amanda is such a sweet girl, but I am sure she is a closet cusser.
by Strippin Zorro January 18, 2016
mugGet the closet cussermug.

becoming less closeted

Someone who is 'becoming less closeted' exhibits certain behaviors.

Although such a person is still closeted (by definition) any individual who is subject to such behavior can be reassured that their associate or peer is in fact ‘becoming less closeted’.

The most apparent circumstance wherein an absolute lack of irrefutability persists by accord to what is within association to an individual's will to ‘become less closeted’ takes place when a person who is ‘becoming less closeted’ engages another individual with a private message on any social networking site and then proceeds to block the recipient.

This is a sure sign that the sender is ‘becoming less closeted’.

Note: If the final message before the act of ‘blocking’ contains a ‘laugh cry emoji’ then there ought to be no uncertainty that the transmitter is doing their very best and putting forth their very best effort within a pursuit to ‘become less closeted’.
Hey, guess what? Walter Mercado slipped into my DM’s and then blocked me immediately afterward.

It appears he is ‘becoming less closeted’. Good for him.

I think I’ll screenshot his activities and post them in the group we share along with a definition of what it means to ‘become less closeted’.
by Sir H.C. Notneb April 13, 2023
mugGet the becoming less closetedmug.

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