A girlfriend. When you're getting it on the regular, you don't need to hold your own. Now you can play videogames while bustin' a nut, because you've got both hands free.
Peter: "Dude, who was that hottie I saw you with at the club last night?"
Paul: "Oh, that's Bethany. She's my hands-free masturbation device."
Paul: "Oh, that's Bethany. She's my hands-free masturbation device."
by M Digga August 24, 2006
by anon908309809809 July 13, 2009
Mega March Masturbation Mayhem is an exciting sport for men to play to show who can nut the most. Fill a bracket with 32 men who's ready to play head-to-head. Each player has 24 hours to nut more times than their opponent to move on to the next round. Keep winning to be crowned champion of Mega March Masturbation Mayhem.
by MasterDebater159 March 20, 2020
When you want to end your life but instead of ending your life you aggressively masturbate for 47 minutes while FaceTiming someone named Lauren (its gotta be 47 minutes exactly) to distract yourself from your thoughts
"God I really wish I was dead"
"Have you tried Suicidal masturbation w Lauren?"
"Not yet, I'll get on that"
"Have you tried Suicidal masturbation w Lauren?"
"Not yet, I'll get on that"
by zacattack September 17, 2019
MMM is the abbreviation for one of the hardest challenges the average woman will face if she wishes to attempt it. MMM stands for "Must not Masturbate March" where a woman is test to the core of her will. She will have to go the whole month of March with out masturbating. Many women compare this challenge to Navy SEAL training.
Woman 1: Girl are you still doing Must not Masturbate March ( MMM )?
Woman 2: No way girl I barley lasted 5 days and I finally gave into ( MMM )
Woman 2: No way girl I barley lasted 5 days and I finally gave into ( MMM )
by Akhi October 25, 2020
"Mustn't Masturbate Merry Christmas" is a challenge given to mostly men that revolves around that masturbating for all of Christmas Eve and Christmas day. Those who fail are forced to become elves, working in Santa's workshop for the rest of their lives. Those who pass, however, are given 30 minutes to do what they'd like with Mrs Claus, Santa's wife. Most, however, tend to pork her.
Person 1: Why have you been so down recently?
Person 2: I don't know. I just can't find the holiday spirit.
Person 1: Just participate in "Mustn't Masturbate Merry Christmas"!
Person 2: What's that?
Person 1: *shows them Urban Dictionary definition*
Person 2: Don't ever talk to me again.
Person 1: *commits suicide*
Person 2: I don't know. I just can't find the holiday spirit.
Person 1: Just participate in "Mustn't Masturbate Merry Christmas"!
Person 2: What's that?
Person 1: *shows them Urban Dictionary definition*
Person 2: Don't ever talk to me again.
Person 1: *commits suicide*
by Your Materfamilias December 24, 2018
1:One who publically masturbates, then proceeds to fuck horses. 2: An insult that will single-handedly catch off guard, and complealty shock the receiver of this insult.
1. Some Guy: Look at that public-mastur..... Oh no! No! No! No! Now he's fucking a horse! That public-masturbating-horse-fucker! 2. Guy 1: You're a douche-bag! Guy 2: You're a public-masturbating-horse-fucker! Guy 1: *falls over, and dies of shock*
by Some Guy Who Is Some Guy May 16, 2015