One who secretly smokes methamphetamine out of hookers buttholes using a special ass bong device. It is like a normal bong except that the bottom is open, allowing the water chamber to be the rectum of said hooker.
Bro: "Yo man I heard Randy is a closet candy crusher. Dude smokes ice out of skank booty."
Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"
Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."
Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"
Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."
by the mysterious j September 7, 2013
Get the closet candy crushermug. someone who says they're really straight (them being in the closet) but in reality, they're gayer than all rainbows combined, but they don't wanna admit it (hence the term crystal closet, because everyone except them can see through their closeted behavior. the trans equivalent for this would be "egg".)
x: have you seen z? they're so gay it's turning me homophobic, like come out already!
y: typical crystal closet behavior, they'll grow out of it (i hope)
z: IM NOT GAY ISTG
y: typical crystal closet behavior, they'll grow out of it (i hope)
z: IM NOT GAY ISTG
by Toh.gayest.show September 4, 2023
Get the crystal closetmug. to be in the closet is when everyone around you assumes you are straight, and you are left in an awkward position to decide to correct them or to stay quiet, there is a possibility they don't know either
conclusion if they avoid topics about being attracted to the opposite sex or the same sex, they might be a part of the LGBT community; however, you could never know
conclusion if they avoid topics about being attracted to the opposite sex or the same sex, they might be a part of the LGBT community; however, you could never know
random girl: "Okay girls, which guy in camp woods is the sexiest?"
girl in the closet: "I don't know, I haven't been paying attention"
short hair girl: "I think it's Marcus, what about you guys?"
girl in the closet: "I don't know, I haven't been paying attention"
short hair girl: "I think it's Marcus, what about you guys?"
by GayMoth October 27, 2022
Get the in the closetmug. Fashion Dope Dealer
Best Prices Around
Place where you go for an awesome shopping experience
Pretty Girls
Best Prices Around
Place where you go for an awesome shopping experience
Pretty Girls
Those shades came from My Bffs Closet
Did you see the new My Bffs Closet discount code?
Pretty Girls Love My Bffs Closet
Did you see the new My Bffs Closet discount code?
Pretty Girls Love My Bffs Closet
by Mbffsc June 18, 2018
Get the my bffs closetmug. When you are in the closet (talking about your sexuality) and you have been in there so long that you're drowning in all the cum from your countless masturbations because your too alone to have sex with anyone/anything else.
Person 1: Yo, Sam has got to come out the closet soon, everyone know it
Person 2: Yeah, at this rate he'll start closet drowning
Person 2: Yeah, at this rate he'll start closet drowning
by BlackJayd April 20, 2018
Get the Closet Drowningmug. A Closeted Weeb person who may call themselves a Sophisticated foreign media consumer, but has watched more than 1 anime.
Closeted Weeb: I’m not a Weeb I just like anime including one piece
Person 2:No you’re just a fucking Weeb
Person 2:No you’re just a fucking Weeb
by sumdude November 6, 2022
Get the Closeted Weebmug. Combines to the common saying of "being in the closet" meaning to be non-publicly queer and fighting demons.
Person 1:"I came out and my friend said: 'We all have those thoughts, we just gotta fight them'"
Person 2:"Man's not fighting demons, he's fighting closet hangers."
Person 2:"Man's not fighting demons, he's fighting closet hangers."
by KubaKaktus April 22, 2023
Get the Man's not fighting demons, he's fighting closet hangers.mug.