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Smochină Smooch Scale

First-known documented scale by an Eastern Bloc author (Nichita Smochină of Moldavia) created for men and women courting one another to rate flirting and kissing on a scale of 1 to 9 (Communist belief did not allow for a 10). The original scale was published in 1930 by Smochină's in the anthology, Cunoștințe Utile ("Useful Knowledge").

As the story goes, Smochină was in Paris at the time, and met a young woman who simply could not flirt or kiss. When he tried to explain to his friends how poorly this woman communicated and later smooched, there was simply no language for explaining this problem. That night, Smochină created the famous Smochină Smooch Scale in one draft. Many say he was divinely inspired.

The rating for #1 took off and gained quite a bit of fame internationally. In its original form, it was "Ăsta se sărută ca o sardină rece de la Marea Neagră" (This one kisses like a cold sardine from the Black Sea.) By the time is was used in speakeasies in Chicago, it had been notably shortened to "Ca un peşte rece" (Like a cold fish).
"So, Fred, tell us. How does she rate on the Smochină Smooch Scale?"
by TexasJewBoy September 27, 2024
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by Adujasty343 June 14, 2025
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Grenglish scale

The grenglish scale is the scale of intensity of grenglish. It's shown by adding more grenglish. For each grenglish it's 10x worse. Each grenglish is connected with an i. So 2 on the grenglish scale (10x worse than normal grenglish) would be shown as grenglishigrenglish.

(Grenglish is another definition I made. Its a combination of gen Z + gen alpha brainrot + prison slang)
"Why do you speak a 2 on the grenglish scale?"

"Imagine a 7 on the grenglish scale. That would be horrifying"

Translations:

0 scale

"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"

1 scale

“Yo, that fast brown fox be hoppin’ over that slow-ass doggo, fr.”

2 scale

“Ayo that speed demon fox finna bounce ova that crusty ol’ dawg like no cap, fr fr, sksksk.”

3 scale

“BRO THAT ZOOM-ZOOM BROWN FOXY SKRRRT-SKRRRT ON DAT DEADASS DOGGO LAYING WIT NO JUICE. JUMPS? NAH, HE SPINNIN’ THRU YO SOUL, YEET YEET YEET!!! 😩🔥💀 SKRT SKRT SKRT SKRT snacc alert”

Anything past 3 is considered to be at an incomprehensible level of brainrot, and is theorized to infect individuals with grenglish.
by Donttuchmywizardstaff June 27, 2025
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Dankosity Scale

The Dankosity Scale is a scale used to measure how dank memes are. Memes can range from but are not limited to "godawful", "ass", "nice", "fire", "dank" and "super dank". This is a way to measure your favourite memes from your childhood and know where they land. There is also a high likelihood of almost all brainrot being in godawful.
Mark: "Wow. Here come dat boi was a legend"
Murphy: "Where do you think he landed on the Dankosity Scale?"
Mark: "Definitely Super Dank"
by Night Terror(LH Comics) October 4, 2025
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Lahey Scale

The level of drunk you are on a 1 to ten scale. Named for the Late Great Jim Lahey of Sunnyvale Trailer Park.
Last night I was 8 out of ten drunk on the Lahey Scale!”
by TimeFoolery42 October 16, 2025
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The Arbib Scale

A scale used to measure gullibility of a consumer of media. There's 'interesting' and then there's stupidly gullible.

Actual
Ridiculous
Blatant
Idiotic
Bias
"Honey, did you read this note about how Trump is really an alien from space?"

"Richard, that has to be 10 out of 10 on the ARBIB scale... he's just a loudmouth and rude"
by DyvCush November 9, 2025
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