A lovely looking lass, easy on the eye as they say and takes to Instagram to show off her tings with provocatively shot pics and creative use of camera angles, despite the fact that her parents also have social media accounts and might see this shit. Then the fucking slag has a kid. Unable to keep her legs shut long enough to keep out the majority of Insta-dicks, she is seeded and Insta-fuckboy as expected, fucks off. Kid barely starts to just be able to walk and say "Mum" when it's given it's own social media accounts and it's not before time that the kid having gotten a bit older now has access to pictures of his own mum being a tart. As do his friends. You guess the rest. Drugs, many other Insta-siblings from many other Insta-dads, bullying, depression and eventually suicide. Fuuuuuck.
"Yeah boi! Saw your mum on-"
"Fuck off! I know she can't keep her clothes on!"
Why does my mum have to be a Insta-mum? Thought Karl whilst crying/over-eating/masturbating/self mutilating later that day.
"Insta-mum! Insta-mum! Does she take it in the bum?"
"Hey Karl?"
"What?"
"Can I have a go on your Insta-mum?"
"............."
"Fuck off! I know she can't keep her clothes on!"
Why does my mum have to be a Insta-mum? Thought Karl whilst crying/over-eating/masturbating/self mutilating later that day.
"Insta-mum! Insta-mum! Does she take it in the bum?"
"Hey Karl?"
"What?"
"Can I have a go on your Insta-mum?"
"............."
by incumbent sausage July 16, 2018
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John the bully: gets kicked out of school is rejected by family and is diagnosed with every type of cancer in the world
John the bully: gets kicked out of school is rejected by family and is diagnosed with every type of cancer in the world
by 1 like=1 v-buck giveaway July 25, 2018
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The woman who is always there for you. No matter what you do you can always count on her to save your ass from the shit you get into. She will love you no matter what happens. She always knows whats best for you and is there for you when your scared. She is also the woman who can give you 5 chores that will most probably take 20 minutes each within 3 minutes and expect you to finish them by the time she gets home.
Mum: I want you to wash the dishes, fold the towels, clean your room and make the house spotless by the time I get home or your in trouble.
Daughter: MUM!! THATS NOT FAIR!!!
Mum: I’ll be home in 10 minutes.
Daughter: I’m screwed....
Daughter: MUM!! THATS NOT FAIR!!!
Mum: I’ll be home in 10 minutes.
Daughter: I’m screwed....
by RVH August 11, 2018
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