Spiritual Sciences

The systematic study of things you feel in your gut but cannot prove in a lab, requiring a methodology that involves equal parts meditation, introspection, and Googling crystals at 2 AM. It's the academic discipline that attempts to quantify vibes, measure auras, and develop a taxonomy for chakras, all while acknowledging that the primary research instrument is "how it makes you feel." Spiritual sciences operate on a peer-review system where the peers are usually also the ones who wrote the book on energy healing, and the data is considered significant if it leads to a personal breakthrough.

Example: "After a weekend retreat, she earned her certificate in spiritual sciences, which meant she was now qualified to tell people their anxiety was just a blocked root chakra. She set up a practice in her living room and charged $75 for an 'auric reading.'"

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Spiritual Social Sciences

The study of how groups of spiritually-inclined people form communities, establish hierarchies, and develop their own unique cultures and jargon. It examines the social dynamics of the yoga studio (why is there always a competitive mat-placer?), the unspoken rules of the crystal shop (don't touch the selenite with dirty hands), and the politics of the meditation circle (who gets to ring the bell?). It's a field dedicated to understanding how people who are seeking inner peace somehow manage to create so much outer drama.

Example: "A deep dive into spiritual social sciences reveals that the 'namaste' said at the end of a yoga class has a direct correlation to how aggressively someone will cut you off in the parking lot. The divine light in them acknowledges the divine light in you, but their Honda Pilot has right of way."*

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Divine Sciences

The audacious academic field that attempts to study God—or gods, or the Divine, or the Great Whatever—using the limited tools of the human mind. It's like trying to measure the ocean with a teaspoon, but the teaspoon is also on fire. Divine sciences encompass theology, mysticism, and that one friend who's always saying "the universe told me" as if they have a direct hotline to management. The primary challenge is that the subject of study is notoriously difficult to get on the record for a peer-reviewed interview.

Example: "His doctoral thesis in divine sciences was titled 'A Comparative Analysis of the Beard Lengths of Patriarchal Deities.' He concluded that longer beards correlated with higher levels of wrath, but noted the sample size was statistically insignificant due to a lack of photographic evidence."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Divine Social Sciences

The study of how divine beings interact with each other and with humanity, forming complex pantheons, heavenly hierarchies, and sometimes, really messy family dramas. It examines the politics of Mount Olympus (Zeus was a terrible manager), the management structure of the angels (too many cherubs, not enough oversight), and the diplomatic relations between various gods (it usually involves lightning bolts or turning people into animals). It's essentially celebrity gossip, but for the immortal set.

Example: "A deep dive into divine social sciences reveals that the Greek gods functioned less like a divine pantheon and more like a reality TV cast. They were constantly scheming, betraying each other, and having inappropriate relationships with mortals. Hera was the long-suffering wife, and everyone was afraid of Hades, even though he was probably the most chill of all of them."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Metaphysical Sciences

The rigorous academic study of things that, by definition, exist beyond the physical world, which makes data collection a bit of a challenge. It's the field where your laboratory is your mind, your primary instrument is intuition, and your control group is "people who haven't had the experience." Metaphysical sciences attempt to apply the scientific method—hypothesis, experimentation, conclusion—to phenomena like telepathy, past lives, and the feeling that someone is watching you (even when they are, in fact, watching you). Peer review is difficult when the evidence is vibes-based.

Example: "She claimed her degree in metaphysical sciences allowed her to quantitatively measure auras. When asked for her methodology, she said she 'just kinda feels it, you know?' Her data was considered statistically insignificant but spiritually very meaningful."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Metaphysical Social Sciences

The study of how groups of people collectively shape, and are shaped by, metaphysical beliefs and experiences. It examines the social dynamics of UFO convention attendees, the hierarchy of Reiki master circles, and the unspoken rules of the new age bookstore (thou shalt not mock the angel cards). It explores how shared beliefs in the unseen create community, establish status, and occasionally lead to conflict over whose unseen being is more powerful. It's anthropology for people who believe in fairies.

Example: "A study in metaphysical social sciences observed that at psychic fairs, the booths with the most elaborate purple velvet drapes consistently attracted more clients, regardless of the psychic's actual accuracy. It confirmed that in the realm of the unseen, presentation is 90% of the game."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026

Metasocial Sciences

The study of the study of society. It's the academic equivalent of holding a mirror up to a mirror and trying to analyze the reflection. Metasocial sciences don't examine social behavior directly; they examine the theories, methods, and biases of the people who examine social behavior. It's a field where you can get a PhD for writing a paper about why other academics wrote their papers the way they did, and the ultimate goal is to achieve a state of analytical navel-gazing so pure that you forget there are actual people involved.

Example: "Her thesis in metasocial sciences was a meta-analysis of the citation patterns in papers about citation patterns. It was considered a landmark study by the three people in the world who understood it, and utterly meaningless by everyone else."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026