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squat cobbler

The act of sitting in a pie and wriggling for sexual pleasure for the person watching. Crying during the act is considered even more arousing. (Native to Hoboken New Jersey)
"When he sat in the cherry pie, I nearly lost my mind! What a great Squat Cobbler!
by elvieandy August 30, 2016
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Squat Cobbler

Noun. When a pie is desecrated by bare human buttocks. Situation made worse when said human is crying
He has a private video stash of himself doing crying squat cobbler for another man.
by SquigglySquid September 3, 2016
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Squat cobbler

Fetish whereas sexual gratification is achieved by sitting on pies and or pastries. Cream pies and meringues are the most commonly used for safety reasons.
Kim:What's your turn on baby?
Sal: I'm a squat cobbler.
Kim: That's hot. Let me get you a French Silk pie.
by Clive Bixby September 3, 2016
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squat cobbler

A fetish that involves a man who sits in a pie and "wiggles around."
I had a very nice apple pie cooling on the window sill but, instead of Yogi Bear, the creepy neighbor Jerry got it. He's a squat cobbler.
by Wormald August 5, 2016
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squat cobbler

A term coined on the AMC show "Better Call Saul", describing a particular fetish involving one's ass sloshing around in a pie. May also be used as a derogatory term toward an unpleasant person.
1. I know it seems like an unusual fetish, but Matt has a huge collection of videos depicting men performing squat cobblers.

2. You're a fucking squat cobbler.
by bouchole September 3, 2016
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Squat cobbler

Video wherein a person sits in a pie for the purpose of titillating the viewer.

Not a porn.

May require a costume and/or crying.

Origin: Better Call Saul, episode Pardon My Clutch.
The squat cobbler videos were hidden in the baseboards.
by Metroslo August 29, 2016
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squat cobbler

When a man sits in pie and wiggles around. Sometimes involves crying and/or a costume.
"My last partner had a squat cobbler fetish, I've had my ass in every pie from apple to zucchini."
by slippinjimmy September 1, 2016
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