my moms a lesbian

What happens when you have 300% more mom than you do dad? You get a fucked up childhood. Children with more than two moms tend to hate "your mom" jokes, and the questions that follow them, like "which one?" Lesbians, as we all know, are sex crazy mother fuckers. Imagine having to live with that. And you know when your one mom is on her period, and she's a raging bitch? Imagine having to deal with that twice a month.

Ben: hey Logan, your mom is a lesbian. Ha.
Logan: My moms a lesbian. But At least i have a mom you choch.
Ben:... Can i have one?
Logan: For 10.99 a month, she's yours.
Ben: Any price is worth the gift of motherhood

by ChompyBlancaExoticButtChochMan December 12, 2016

give me a run for my money

It could mean that when someone wants to challenge you, you have the balls to fight back, or to keep up the pace and become, either a winner, or prove them wrong for having the tendency to challenge you. Its a term that firstly was announced of game horses and meant that this horse that I'm counting on can give me my money back, cause I simply have big hopes and expectations from it. Usually this phrase has a lot of different meanings but this one is the most concrete.

You see these guys over there working out?
They're weak as fuck.
I bet none of these phonies can give me a run for my money.

I am a bodybuilder and I'm working out for fun. It's my life.

by Sense8ative August 19, 2019

i want someone to put a bullet through my head

i hate myself i wish i was dead i'm so bored i'm such a go damn disappointment my friends don't have time for me i want someone to fucking kill me i don't want to be here anymore i'm so fucking bored i'm trapped in a endless cycle i hate myself i hate myself i hate myself

Me: i want someone to put a bullet through my head
Someone: hahaha i won't lol

by bunny_adipshit November 19, 2021

there's a pickle in my pocket

Something someone yells in a line at school to signal a teacher is walking by when the kids are texting.

Kid 1: "I'm texting nancy this picture o--"
Kid 2: "THERE'S A PICKLE IN MY POCKET!"
All kids in hallway: *puts phones in pockets stealthily"

by Guy Yohanson? December 13, 2009

flip a noodle on my Mac

another term for masturbation

After a long day at work, I am going to go home and flip a noodle on my Mac to some porn.

by noodlelover420 October 12, 2019

who gave my son a plant

no but like who gave my son a plant. he fucked it

who gave my son a plant

by haydenÕwÕ November 2, 2019

MY HEART’S A SEIZIN, MY LUNGS A WHEEZIN

When a mid evil peasant eats a nice loaf of rye bread and when HOLY SHIT I’M BLASTING OUT OF BOTH ENDS! MY HEART’S A SEIZIN, MY LUNGS A WHEEZIN, THE FUCKING WALLS ARE MELTING?! I CAN HEAR SATAN’S VOICE! HE’S TELLING ME TO… INVEST IN APPLE?? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! WHY DOES HE WANT ME TO BUY APPLES?!

“Yo dude where did the rye bread go?”

MY HEART’S A SEIZIN, MY LUNGS A WHEEZIN!

by GenosCyborg September 4, 2023