Fredericksburg, Texas

A strip mall with a thyroid problem which used to be a nice, quiet place to live, but has since been given over to rich, fat, slow, obnoxious, traffic killing tourists from Austin and San Antonio and their squalling, equally fat, and obnoxious brats at the expense of the overworked and underpaid citizenry who, thanks to the influx of social security parasites who have driven up the cost of living like the leeches they are, can barely afford to live and raise a family. There is virtually no other industry apart from tourism, no other means of bolstering the economy, and thus, no opportunity for the young people of Fredericksburg who, realizing this, leave and never return. In droves.
This has been done deliberately by the city fathers who saw a cash cow in selling out their town and enjoy the status of being big fish in a small pond.

The day will soon come when they give up their charade of caring about the locals, rename Fredericksburg "Das Mall", and pass an ordinance requiring all of the locals to wear lederhosen and dirndls for the amusement of the turistas.

"So, where ya from?"

"Fredericksburg, Texas."

"You mean the German town with all the antique stores? Oh yeah, my wife and I love that place! We're going to retire there!"

"Eat a dick."

by Crotalus October 13, 2012

Texas-sized

Adjective used to describe an object, person, place, or idea, that is uniquely large among his/her/its kind, i.e. with a size exaggeratively being compared to the size of the state of Texas.

"Hey man look over there!" *points to the posterior of a very obese black woman sitting down gorging herself on 25 packages of McDonald's chicken selects. "Check out them Texas-sized buns of hers! That's a huge bitch!"

"Dude, you should have seen Jerome get a Texas-sized hit from that awesome gravity bong that I made!"

"(at the baseball game) Now just look at that fat redneck man buy a Texas-sized bladder buster of Dr. Pepper for his 5-month old baby. That is just sad."

"Ron Jeremy may be rather healthy and hideously hairy, but he has a rather Texas-sized holy muscle of love to compensate for his appearance."

"Well Howard, I just took a look at those plans of yours for the new shopping mall complex we are building in town and absolutely admired them. Quite a Texas-sized undertaking I tell you."

"George W. Bush is a man of Texas-sized stupidity."





Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.

by Mark H February 19, 2005

Kaufman, Texas

A place where dreams and ambition go to die. Kids can't wait to "get out of this town and never come back", but end up getting knocked up by their high school sweetheart, continue to live here for the rest of their lives, and then their kids have the same high school teachers they had had.

Kaufman, Texas resident: "Let's get high and go to Denny's."

by Xc17 December 24, 2016

Wet West Texas

Loading your ball-sack with your own pee, and releasing it on a girl.

*Takes skill and should not be performed by amateurs.

Step 1. Roll your wiener up into itself.
Step 2. Pull up your ball-sack over your remaining penis, until it forms the shape of a round balloon.
Step 3. Begin peeing until ball-sack fills with pee.
Step 4. When ball-sack is full, release on woman.

I just gave Ashley a Wet West Texas, and she was too drunk to care.

by TTech Guy April 29, 2010

Texas

A state that hates Oklahoma and that Oklahoma hates.

Texans: "Oklahoma sucks!"
Oklahomans: "Texas blows!"

by bldyvlntin February 2, 2010

Texas Gore-Tex

Hunting or construction clothing worn by Texans during non-hunting/construction activities, particularly skiing. The clothing color is usually tree-and-leaves camouflage or hunter orange. It is worn by Texans and other rural or midwestern people. The term also applies when such clothing is used for any urban activity. Despite the name, the clothing has historically not been made from Gore-Tex, but was considered what Texans have in lieu of Gore-Tex. It is typically purchased at Cabela's or Wal-Mart. Popular brands include Carhartt and Cabela's.

1. A skier wearing a full-length one-piece Carhartt coverall and hunter orange knit hat is wearing Texas Gore-Tex.
2. A man wearing a camouflage hunting jacket to an expensive downtown restaurant is going out with his Texas Gore-Tex on.
3. "That part of the mountain is dominated by people wearing Texas Gore-Tex, let's stay away"
4. "I'm not sure if you can beleive that guy in the Texas Gore-Tex at the bar telling stories of secret backcountry powder stashes."

by Carter Pewterschmidt November 24, 2009

Texas Nightmare

During the climax of a wet dream you awake while cumming. You wake up shooting hence texas nightmare

Joey is dreaming about hitting the ass and awakes during the climax of the dream "fuck i soiled my sheets, goddamn texas nightmare"

by Cheif Ace Rick May 13, 2012