fart mute

The act of contorting your body or grasping the cheek of your ass and pulling it away from the other cheek in order to mute the sound of a fart. This is usually performed while in the bathroom at dinner parties or at the home of someone to which you are on a first date with. The maneuver is also useful while taking a dump and are on the phone with someone particularly if you have been on hold for 30 minutes and you finally get through to a real person, or an over-the-phone interview. The maneuver requires much skill and practice as too much cheek pull can actually amplify the fart sound to a high pitch squeal so loud that the neighbors dog will start barking.

I ate dinner at this girl's house last week. When I went to the bathroom I felt a huge fart coming so I performed a fart mute maneuver.

by heywoodgblowme September 12, 2013

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talking to mute

The increasingly common situation where an individual on a conference orvideo call talks extensively without remembering to turn on their microphone. Also an excuse for situations where that same person wasn't paying attention to the call whatsoever. This situation is most common in conference call scenarios although it can also be seen in video conferences, particularly in the current work-from-home environment.

"Jamie? Jamie?? You there? We need your approval to allow the project to start."

(long pause)
"Oops, sorry, guys. Talking to mute again." (with the sound of toilet flushing in the background)

by lakeshore September 18, 2020

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