Turtle Snap

Commonly, after a male finishes urinating, he pulls the front half of his briefs back over his groin and goes about his daily routine.

A Turtle Snap occurs when the male loses grip on his underwear halfway up, causing the elastic to snap directly onto the genitals. Side effects may include severe pain in the testicles, depreciation of self-esteem stemming from the brief inability to use basic motor skills, and strange looks from anyone occupying neighboring stalls.

Over-exposure to Turtle Snapping is likely to result in a Schlonky Donk

Bryan: Hey Mike, why are you doubled over?

Mike: I was so relaxed after my urigasm that I turtle snapped myself.

Bryan: Cool story, bro.

by Reasonwriter703 February 11, 2012

Turtle Text

When the most incredible woman you have ever met in your life finally opens up and sends the most amazing text or e-mail, but immediately retreats back into her shell never to be seen or heard from again.

Patti broke my heart when she sent me a Turtle Text and severed all contact right after hitting send.

by ice cold asshole March 7, 2010

Turtle Costume

A comfortable atire

PJ's

Girl: Theses jeans are to uncomfortable im gonna put on my Turtle Costume

by Joeycracks August 23, 2007

derpy turtle

A person who customizes cars or motorcycles. Builder of hotrods

That's a badass ride! I wonder who the Derpy Turtle is who built it??

by Derpy Turtle April 17, 2014

turtle cave

The asshole.

"Hey did you get sexy with her last night?"
"Oh yeah, I tongue buttered her turtle cave so hard!"

by MindingFreedom September 2, 2017

Turtle Whore

Women who tease excesivly but are slower than old people fucking to give out.

Katie is such a Turtle Whore

by Rawr Cookie February 15, 2006

Jade Turtle

A Jade Turtle is special sex act performed on a man provided at an Asian massage parlor. The masseuse, dripping a small amount of oil onto the mans flaccid penis, gently squeezes the foreskin over the head, pinching it loosely with thumb and forefinger. The opposite hand then tickles the balls or nipples until the penis becomes erect, pushing and poking out of the foreskin like a curious turtles head.

'Man, I stopped at this Asian Massage parlor last week, and before I got my happy ending, the masseuse gave me a Jade Turtle!"

by Dr Knob September 24, 2010