Skip to main content

chocolate phantom

The act of taking a sloppy, wet shit, possibly diarreha, then, without wiping, while your friends (up to 7) are asleep, using the palms of their hands instead of toilet paper to wipe your ass with. Symptoms include pink eye, morning sickness, and poor hygene.
friend one: 'wakes up and rubs eyes' "Eww dude what the fuck who the hell used my hands as an ass wipe?!?!" friend two: "Oh my fucking lord who the hell is responsible for this?!?!" You: "I have no idea, someone did it to me also but i washed my hands this morning, must have been the chocolate phantom."

desk phantom 

A worker who is usually exempt and working project hours which can be any time during the day or evening. They often live at their desk, have minifridges and coffee makers there. They disappear often during the day without being noticed and come back to work late hours. Their job is very solitary and they are so seldom seen that seeing them is like seeing a phantom.

The opposite of a desk phantom is a desk mannequin who is usually more visible, and more customer facing.
We just saw John coming in at 2 with coffee and his van was in the parking lot all last night. We think he's working on the bank acquisition code but you'll have to ask Francine his boss about that. The guy is a real desk phantom.
desk phantom by johngagon February 25, 2010

insolvent phantom 

A symbol of the threat of economic depression
man 1: great here comes another insolvent Phantom.

goofy hand phantom style 

When you sit on your nondominant hand until it is numb. Once numb, use it to masterbate. It will feel like a handjob.
She wouldn't give me a handjob, so I had to do a goofy hand phantom style on myself

shithouse phantom 

A mysterious being, whose identity and motives are unknown, who insists on scrawling on the bathroom walls in shit. The bathroom may be a public restroom, but is often a bathroom at an professional job.

His brown musings maybe actual words like "hello, hi, or turd" and yet are often fecal smearings with no discernable message.

Who are you shithouse phantom? And why have you selected this bathroom as your canvas?!?!
Hank: Yeah so me and the wife (upon opening bathroom door) HOLY FUCK The shithouse phantom is back again! Fuckin hell, Charlie, call maintanence would you?

Charlie: I mean really, who writes "hi" on the wall in shit?

Hank: The shithouse phantom, Charlie. The shithouse phantom.
shithouse phantom by Mighty B October 27, 2006

shit phantom 

when a party-goer uses the bathroom, turns off the water to the toilet (via knob below the toilet bowl), flushes the toilet until the water no longer runs, then proceeds to shit in the toilet.
The shit phantom struck again at Jay C's house.