Jam-mum

A mother or and older woman (35-65) who’s personality is so basic that the most riveting activity they can do is make jam. They enjoy making jam and constantly talk about making jam. Similar to a wine mum but more wholesome (cause they’re quite nice) and wine is replaced with jam-making. They usually have the personality of a cardboard box and are either very Catholic/ toxic Christian or very agnostic. They usually hate the following:

* Controversy

* Movies and songs that swear
* Anything remotely ‘vulgar’

Jane: “Did you hear about Matilda’s party on Saturday?”
Alex: “Yeah.”
Jane:…”Ok? Are you going?”
Alex: “HA! NO! That woman’s party is probably the equivalent to the taste of sandpaper. She’s such jam-mum.”

by Fourfortunate4 July 5, 2022

jam towel

An Urban title for a tampon

Judy, you got a jam towel; it's my time of the month?

by I-Have-No-Name! January 18, 2009

jam handy

1. The popular 1940's Educational Film Production Company, 'Jam Handy', who created such classic films as "A Case of Spring Fever"
2. The even more popular sexual favour, provided by certain prostitutes, whereby the hand job is enhanced by liberal application of various jams, jellies and preserves. At the lower end of the menu is the 'Hartley's Strawberry Jam Handy', which will cost on average £2.50 due to the low fruit content, all the way up to Fortnam and Mason's High Grove Organic Damson Preserve , which will cost a discerning customer at least £10 a Handy. Seville Orange Marmalade Handy's are seasonal.
Most Jam Handys are executed with seedless jam, but there are some fringe extremists that prefer seeded raspeberry Jam Handys, known in the trade as "Dick Raspers".

"Nigel, where does one acquire a Jam Handy in this borough?"
"Why Nigel, I believe one can have a quality Jam Handy down behind the Tesco's if you're in the mood for some Hartley's seedless Raspberry, 35 percent fruit, only £2.50. Bargain."
"Why thank you Nigel, you're a real chap."
"Unless you're one of those filthy Dick Raspers, in which case I'll have to call the local constabulary."
"Oh Nigel, how could you."
"And I always took you for a marmalade man. And I let you watch my children."

by Adrian Potato September 26, 2020

Space Jammed

When your bitch ass friend steals your skill in order to win a bet or competition of any sort

Well i bet i could shoot three free throws but James Space Jammed me and shot them all blind folded.

by Girdlemaster June 9, 2017

Jam Pusher

The kind of person who makes several metric asstons of jam every year, turns up unannounced at your house with carrier bags of full jam-jars, then "accidentally" leave those bags at your house even though you've flatly refused any more bleedin' jam (which you had to do because all your cupboards are full of jam from them doing the same last year, and you couldn't even shift it on to anyone else because all *their* cupboards are full of jam).

Original coinage by Johnny Defective (Norwich, United Kingdom)

"I love seeing Auntie Doris, but she's a total jam pusher. I went to visit her once and when I got home I found a jar of raspberry marmalade in my handbag."

by Shinydan August 10, 2014

Jam Locked

To Chill Meaning Jam out and the Locked stands for the area is locked by your crew and kno one can enter this domain.

Yo conor we got this area jam locked boi.

by Crunk Bastard December 26, 2008

Clam Jam

With a variety of clam, from the Bearded Clam to the Soft Shell Smooth Clam, many Clams can be found with Clam Jam. Clam Jam is a buildup of male ejaculation, that becomes engulfed in the clams natural frothy excretion, causing both to solidify into Clam Jam. Clam Jam can be identified on these Clams based on texture, and jello like texture. This makes for a wholesome snack on crackers when obtained freshly from the Clam. Most Women quite enjoy the Clam Jam spread on crackers with a cold glass of pink Moscato.

Jenny's clam was spewing Clam Jam, so I made her Clam Jam Crackers with a glass of Moscato.

by Peter R Wong January 29, 2021