A gender-neutral term for the act of giving oral sex to a person who is defecating. Contrary to popular belief, blumpkins are not unique to blowjobs: as humanity progresses, our definitions so too must evolve to encapsulate the diversity of grotesque and beautiful sex acts of the wild modern world.
"She braced one leg on the wall, just above the roll of Charmin, and let a long brown roll slide from her backside as he twirled his tongue betwixt the salmon-pink folds of her frontside in a blumpkin that could only be described as socially progressive."
"I caressed his erect phallus and kneeled for a blumpkin, as the remains of his dinner were violently ejected into the porcelain bowl."
"I caressed his erect phallus and kneeled for a blumpkin, as the remains of his dinner were violently ejected into the porcelain bowl."
by thefutureliberalswant April 27, 2021

by thesplashingblumpkins June 5, 2021

your having a relaxing shit and the door bursts open and the person yells Surprise blumpkin and starts to give you unplanned oral sex
Cameron burst into the hot portaloo. Yells surprise blumpkin and started sucking. He enjoys when the poo poo snapped off and splashes up into his mouth the same time as the man ejaculated
by Sxfndr December 6, 2020

Where the man takes many laxatives and shit in her mouth. Now as you are letting out the rest of the shit on the toilet she keeps the shit in her mouth and gives you a traditional blowjob on the toilet.
by anonymous July 22, 2024

Triple Chocolate Rocky Road Blumpkin - when a male is receiving a blumpkin and his fecal matter is a mixture of diarrhea and chunks
“Did you hear that Heather gave Scott a Triple Chocolate Rocky Road Blumpkin? She said his shit was half liquid and half solid”
by Milf Destroyer 420 August 5, 2024

This requires 3 people. The first person is laying on the floor of a porta potty with porta potty juices in their mouth. The second person poops in the first person's mouth while receiving a blowjob from the third person. The poop splashes on the first persons face. The third person also pukes on the second person's penis. Either the second or third person smears the poop on the first person's face like football facepaint.
by SkibidiLomas May 1, 2024

by mommysmilk April 17, 2021
