Is when a grown man capitulates in the face of peer pressure and confirms his status as a beta male/ soft cock.
Alan : you should apologise to that police officer to get out of that speeding fine
Troy: sorry officer!
Alan : what the fuck did you do that for you soft cock.
Troy : don’t tell anybody.
Alan : I’ve got your back.
On work site later that day. Alan : guess what this soft cock said.
Troy: sorry officer!
Alan : what the fuck did you do that for you soft cock.
Troy : don’t tell anybody.
Alan : I’ve got your back.
On work site later that day. Alan : guess what this soft cock said.
by Captain Pepe December 19, 2023
Get the Sorry officer mug.Flex Officer (noun):
An elite-tier desk goblin who lives rent-free under the Captain’s desk, occasionally surfacing to breathe through their nose holes and remind everyone that “they’re special.” Born from the unholy union of nepotism and weaponized whining, the Flex Officer is the workplace equivalent of a trust fund baby who thinks mopping is a hate crime.
They don’t work at the jail — they grace it with their presence.
They don’t get mandated — they get massaged.
Their radio isn’t even connected — it’s just Bluetooth synced to Spotify where they’ve got a playlist titled “Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.”
Key Attributes:
• Can hold their breath under a desk for 2 hours straight if Daddy Captain is rubbing their back and whispering, “You’re my little soldier.”
• Cries “unfair!” with the power of a soap opera widow anytime someone asks them to… do their actual job.
• Works half a shift, takes a full lunch, and still needs a mental health day from the trauma of watching other people do things.
Hierarchy of Enablers:
• Daddy Captain: Wears khakis so tight you can hear his thighs beg for help. Bends rules like he bends over to scratch the Flex Officer’s belly.
• Mommie Lieutenant: Pretends to discipline but calls them “my baby” when no one’s looking.
• Uncle Lou: Definitely has something sketchy going on!
Fun Fact:
The Flex Officer once got an award for “Most Improved” after showing up to roll call on time… once… in 2019.
An elite-tier desk goblin who lives rent-free under the Captain’s desk, occasionally surfacing to breathe through their nose holes and remind everyone that “they’re special.” Born from the unholy union of nepotism and weaponized whining, the Flex Officer is the workplace equivalent of a trust fund baby who thinks mopping is a hate crime.
They don’t work at the jail — they grace it with their presence.
They don’t get mandated — they get massaged.
Their radio isn’t even connected — it’s just Bluetooth synced to Spotify where they’ve got a playlist titled “Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.”
Key Attributes:
• Can hold their breath under a desk for 2 hours straight if Daddy Captain is rubbing their back and whispering, “You’re my little soldier.”
• Cries “unfair!” with the power of a soap opera widow anytime someone asks them to… do their actual job.
• Works half a shift, takes a full lunch, and still needs a mental health day from the trauma of watching other people do things.
Hierarchy of Enablers:
• Daddy Captain: Wears khakis so tight you can hear his thighs beg for help. Bends rules like he bends over to scratch the Flex Officer’s belly.
• Mommie Lieutenant: Pretends to discipline but calls them “my baby” when no one’s looking.
• Uncle Lou: Definitely has something sketchy going on!
Fun Fact:
The Flex Officer once got an award for “Most Improved” after showing up to roll call on time… once… in 2019.
You: “Why the hell am I getting mandated again?”
• Sergeant: “Flex Officer said he has emotional allergies to night shift, so Daddy wrote him a note and gave him a juice box.”
• You: aggressively Googling ‘how to fake your own death with minimal paperwork’
• Sergeant: “Flex Officer said he has emotional allergies to night shift, so Daddy wrote him a note and gave him a juice box.”
• You: aggressively Googling ‘how to fake your own death with minimal paperwork’
by BigDaddyBear53 July 4, 2025
Get the Flex Officer mug.(N)Noun Location:
The office of the former president is acknowledged by over 300 million americans as a beacon of light in a dark world.
On January 25th in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty one, Former President Donald Trump opened an “Office of the Former President” that seeks to advance the interests of the United States and carry on the agenda of his inspired "America First" movement. The Office will be responsible for managing President Trump’s correspondence, public statements, appearances, and official activities to advance the interests of the United States and to carry on the agenda of the Trump Administration through advocacy, organizing, and public activism.
“President Trump will always and forever be a champion for the American People,” as quoted by The office of the former president.
The Office Of the former president is respected and acknowledged by over 300 million americans and will be a light in the darkness for all sovereign american peoples regardless of race, color creed, or political affiliation. No fat chicks or Commies!
The office of the former president is acknowledged by over 300 million americans as a beacon of light in a dark world.
On January 25th in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty one, Former President Donald Trump opened an “Office of the Former President” that seeks to advance the interests of the United States and carry on the agenda of his inspired "America First" movement. The Office will be responsible for managing President Trump’s correspondence, public statements, appearances, and official activities to advance the interests of the United States and to carry on the agenda of the Trump Administration through advocacy, organizing, and public activism.
“President Trump will always and forever be a champion for the American People,” as quoted by The office of the former president.
The Office Of the former president is respected and acknowledged by over 300 million americans and will be a light in the darkness for all sovereign american peoples regardless of race, color creed, or political affiliation. No fat chicks or Commies!
Donald John Trump has officially created The office of the Former President to continue to make the radical far left cry. Just as the office of the president elect didn't exist until Trumps presidency, neither did The office of the Former President. This is because Donald Trump s a creator, weather it Jobs, a stronger military, opportunities or a greater America that's just what we does. it's just a bonus that the Leftist tears will result
by BDHN January 26, 2021
Get the The Office of the Former President mug.No officer, I did not rape those 30 innocent children and then proceeded to hide them in my basement
by GenderBender123 September 20, 2021
Get the Officer mug.When you work for a company that feels you couldn't do any better and should be privileged to work there. Boss makes you feel incompetent at every turn and has his favorites.
Oh great... here comes Brian to perform more Office Abuse on all of us. Cant wait to find another job.
by Jackpot!cs February 4, 2021
Get the Office Abuse mug.the worker who will typically affiliate themselves with somone in power, sometimes the remora may even has assistant or associate in their own title, but not always. The remora never has any original ideas or points of view, and never initiates a conversation ...but once something has been sparked, one their has been a target and an initial death blow delivered by the "heavy", the office remora is 99% of the time the first person to jump in and attack/feed if you will off the strike
Jackson: I hate Drake, he such a remora, did you see the way he beat Jeff down after Miller drew first blood.
Murphy: I know, he's the head office remora.
Murphy: I know, he's the head office remora.
by lastgreatnobody March 28, 2009
Get the office remora mug.Officer Safety (noun) – The ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card for law enforcement. It’s the excuse cops use to justify unnecessary aggression or excessive force, even when there’s no real threat. Picture this: you’re already handcuffed on the ground, barely moving, and they still got an arm around your throat, shouting “Officer safety!” as if you’re the dangerous one. It’s less about actual safety and more about flexing power, giving them a free pass for brutality, no matter how much control they already have.
Example 1:
“I was pinned down, cuffed, and they’re still yelling ‘officer safety’ while roughing me up like I’m some kind of threat.”
Example 2:
“I handed over my ID, rolled up my window to wait, and they told me to roll it back down for ‘officer safety.’ Like I’m gonna attack them from inside the car while they’re running my license. All they had to do was write the ticket.”
“I was pinned down, cuffed, and they’re still yelling ‘officer safety’ while roughing me up like I’m some kind of threat.”
Example 2:
“I handed over my ID, rolled up my window to wait, and they told me to roll it back down for ‘officer safety.’ Like I’m gonna attack them from inside the car while they’re running my license. All they had to do was write the ticket.”
by Watchlist Subject 9596690-00 September 15, 2024
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