Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022
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Get the Bacon army mug.A walking paradox. Armie will gas you up, ruin your life, and still have the audacity to say “you knew what this was.”
He’s not your man — he’s the main event.
Tells you he’s busy building an empire, but somehow still has time to watch your story and disappear again.
Calls it “protecting his peace” when he ghosts you for 3 weeks.
Never argues. Just calmly makes you feel like the crazy one.
His cologne? Regret and curiosity.
You’ll never replace him — just date people who remind you of him and fall short.
He’s not your man — he’s the main event.
Tells you he’s busy building an empire, but somehow still has time to watch your story and disappear again.
Calls it “protecting his peace” when he ghosts you for 3 weeks.
Never argues. Just calmly makes you feel like the crazy one.
His cologne? Regret and curiosity.
You’ll never replace him — just date people who remind you of him and fall short.
by Qatiqua August 1, 2025
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I got my roommate a German army helmet for Christmas.. the newest espresso machine! Now I don’t have to go to Starbucks anymore.
I got my roommate a German army helmet for Christmas.. the newest espresso machine! Now I don’t have to go to Starbucks anymore.
by kdawk August 3, 2018
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ARMYs: You can hate us, but you can never hate our boys
ARMYs: You can hate us, but you can never hate our boys
by Army <3 July 3, 2018
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