turtle dove

a small, flightless bird resembling a pigeon with a turtle shell on its back. It is almost completely useless, and lives in a tree all its life owing to the fact if it tries to jump down it will die (the turtle shell means it is too heavy to fly). Their diet composes of leaves, fruit, and any cat/monkey/other that climbs their tree.

how are your turtle doves doing, Dave?
Not very well, Bill. One of them swallowed my cat.

by unoriginally November 22, 2020

Turtle’s Tail

The opposite of a turtle’s head. Having made it to the lavatory, dropped a big one and flushed. The turtle’s tail can be found lurking on the consumer side of the U bend.

Dad: Bloody hell! Who’s left this turtle’s tail in ‘ere!

by Dfsjdjdj December 5, 2020

turtle baby

A word used to replace any noun, usually with some affection and positive/neutral.

"Wheres the remote? Oh, theres that little turtle baby!"
"Let me try one of those turtle babies!"

by Courtney Hume April 8, 2007

Turtle Dick

When a circumcised penis retracts into the remaining foreskin scar or shaft.

It's so cold, I'm turtle dicking.
Sorry, I was adjusting my turtle dick.

by CORich September 3, 2012

Turtle soup

Diarrhea fart ,when sick, to check to see if toilet use is necessary, because you do not want to get up from where you are at, and liquid fecal matter squirts enough that stains your underware.

I was sick, downstairs, lying on the couch and I turtle souped. I then took a shower.

by Steven Ortiz October 2, 2014

turtle body

A significantly obese person, usually a woman. So named for their inability to rest their arms parallel to their bodies, and their shuffling walk.

If they were to fall on their backs, they'd likely be unable to get up.

"So, you think there'll be any hot chicks at that Def Leppard tribute band's concert?"

"Well, there's guaranteed to be a turtle body or 20."

by Nam-shub of Enki May 30, 2006

Turtle shelling

What happens when you hold your poop for too long. When you finally sit down on the toilet, you let loose only to realize that it may have been on the verge of popping out, and that you probably had less time to wait than you thought.

John: "Bro, Sidney was over for 6 hours last night and I had to shit so bad!"

Steve: "Damn, son. Did you drop a deuce with her at your place?"

John: "No, but I was turtle shelling it like a mothafucka. Almost shat everywhere."

by 2toedsloth December 18, 2011