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Hello Jon

A quote from The Magnus Archives, often referred to as the Rickroll of TMA.
Jon: Statement of Hazel Rutter, regarding a house fire in her childhood home. Statement begins.

Elias: Hello Jon. Apologies for the deception, but I wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself. I’m assuming you’re alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldn’t try too hard to stop reading; there’s every likelihood you’ll just hurt yourself. So just listen. Now, shall we turn the page and try again?
by Starmustdie November 25, 2025
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brodie & jon

a fiddle of paedophiles. The colloquial term for a group of paedophiles.
the alarm was raised when brodie & Jon, a fiddle of paedophiles, attempted to enter the funfair during the school holidays.
by mrs tosser November 29, 2025
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Dirty Jon

The act of 2v1'ing an underage girl in your bed with your drunk best friend so hard, she has her period in your bed. and instead of cleaning your sheets, you just lick it clean till it shines
"Did you hear about sky vessy? she got dirty jon'd so hard by Jon, and braiden last night"
by FaggimusPrime December 1, 2025
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Jon Starbuck

An amazing, handsome, beautiful young man who works hard for money and has 0 exes. Crazy.. right?
Jon Starbuck is amazing!!!! He needs all the girls in the world!
by Jom1n December 12, 2025
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Jon Starbuck

The most handsome and beautiful young man who has no exes
by Jom1n December 12, 2025
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