mummy muff

a vagina that has not seen action for epochs and thus is crusty, cobwebby, sandy, and extremely dangerous to those fool enough to undertake an excavation. also, possibly cursed.

*can also be used in a regular pejorative manner, in addition to being merely a descriptive noun

Todd: "That Barbara Bush probably has a vicious mummy muff."
Jim: "Yeah."

Mic: "OMG, guys. Teddy left at least five shelves of hair product in the bathroom. What a mummy muff!"
Maura: "Yeah, totally."

by E. B. MacNaughton January 5, 2009

crusty muff

A woman who has not wiped her pussy for a long time so she gets crusty flaps

Wow Barry's nan has a crusty muff

by Thefamms March 24, 2016

muff pirate

The act of shaving the muff whilst a woman is asleep. Thus, literally pirating the muff.

I pirate so much muff I have a pubic hair stash. I am the ultimate muff pirate! Brooklyn!

by Frank Stallion August 24, 2008

tuff muff

a butch ass dyke lesbian. usually dressed in doc martins, flannel shits, sporting the mullet, has both nose and tongue piercing combined with visibly noticable tattoes to show how bad ass she is. they call thier tongues the lesbo tallywacker. tuff muff tattoed on your knuckles is the extreme case. trust me, i work with one. during sex they are usually the giver not the taker. she wears the strap on everytime, or she is always the stronger of the scissoring action. they love to pick fights with men by calling them breeders or camel foot.

look, that butch dyke is going to kick that dudes ass! she's trying to rip his tea bags right out of his pants! note to self "do not mess with that tuff muff unless you want to get into leglock and your face will be right next to her camel toe"

by HOT POCKET STOMPER April 3, 2009

Muff digger

Similar to a gold digger. One who dates sluts so they can get some muff.

Steve likes slutty girls, hes always trying to get some. What a muff digger.

by alex_bruin September 22, 2009

muff job

Any occupation typically done by a women.

I'm not going to clean that bathroom, that is a muff job.

by Rusty Schulz March 17, 2005

Muff'O'Maniac

One you is obsessive about the amout of muff they recieve. They are usually large drug abusers and have dominatrix tendencies. They don't care how they get the muff they just want it, and if you havent figured it out yet Muff is a slang word for Vagina.

"Ive munched over a hundred muff's this week, my doctor says I'm a Muff'O'Maniac."

by Jesus Hernandez September 7, 2004